By Barrett Holman Leak
SAN DIEGO — The Sunday morning sunshine is bright outside my bedroom window as the alarm sounds and I open my eyes; but winter temperatures are only in the low 60s so cold air is blowing through the open window. I am warm under my thick down comforter and I feel safe and secure in my bedroom, in my bed, in my body. That warmth and safety is why I am compelled to get out of bed on this and every Sunday morning: there are more than 100 hostages in Gaza who are not warm and safe.
Since Oct. 7 they have not been safe. They have been kidnapped, tortured, raped, taken into dank, dark tunnels, deprived of food and medicine and have not had the warmth safety and security of their bed in 90 days. I, like millions of people, do not want them to be forgotten. I must get out of bed so I can run for their lives.
It has been a very long week with a lot of things to handle but even while so tired, I know I can take a cold shower and find some energy and uplift in spirit. The hostages cannot. My mind floats to the eyewitness reports of strategically planned mass sexual violence against Israeli women on October 7, 2023 by the Hamas terrorist organization. I can shower safely in my home, knowing that I have control of my body and my sense of self. But on that day so many Israeli women did not. I am outraged after reading the reports of gangrapes, genital mutilation, savage destruction of Israeli women’s breasts, and even horrifically driving nails into the thighs and groin of one woman. The women who survived these brutal attacks may never regain their full sense of bodily security.
I have clinical training and work experience as a chaplain, and additionally, years ago, I worked with a San Diego organization that trained me as a SART advocate (Sexual Assault, Rape and Trauma) and domestic violence crisis counselor. I worked full time overnight for years. A call would come in at 11:30 p.m. or 1:13 a.m. or 4:45 a.m. and I would answer the call. In the darkness I would slide into my shoes, put on my coat and get into my car. After praying all the way there, I would meet the police as they arrived with a woman who had been victimized and I would stay with her from that moment and throughout the evidentiary exam. I listened when she recounted what was done to her. I held her hand when I could and kept eye contact with her through the questioning and until she was able to leave, if discharged by the doctor. All the while I did clinical assessment of the trauma that would later help in the prosecution and conviction of the perpetrator. I helped assemble a list of resources she might want to use and got her connected with therapeutic help. I have frequently wished I were in Israel and could volunteer my knowledge, skills and experience.
What can I do? What can I do?! I kept my eyes and ears attuned to any opportunity and in October, one appeared:. I found the group Run For Their Lives. I could use my feet to help spread the word about the hostage crisis so the hostages would not be forgotten.
Run For Their Lives is a global run/walk events organization calling for the immediate release of all the hostages held by terrorist group Hamas. You can join any local chapter through WhatsApp – which is how I found the San Diego chapter. There is no cost to join. Local community groups meet once a week in a designated location in the neighborhood, for a short walk/run. Runners start at 8 a.m. and walkers (that’s me!!) start at 9 a.m. We wear a group t-shirt or a red t-shirt if possible. We carry flags of the countries whose citizens are among the hostages (so we have flags for Israel as well as countries such as Germany and the USA. We record a video every week and take photos. Pinned to our back are posters of the hostages.
You may have questions about safety (which is an authentic concern these days) You must make your best judgment to decide if it’s safe. However, as a group we are guided by a few principles designed to make this safer for us:
- We don’t protest
- We walk quietly and don’t block roads.
- We focus on humanity and the innocent civilians being held by terrorists.
- We encourage carrying flags of all countries from which there are hostages.
Youth are welcome and there are a few teens/pre-teens who have shown up some weeks. It is a family friendly event. It is non violent, and it is not triggering. Our energy is peaceful but purposeful; dialed down but determined.
The Run For Their Lives movement was started by a group of Israelis in the San Francisco Bay Area in California, in collaboration with the Hostage and Missing Families Forum (#BringThemHomeNow). Local events like our Sunday morning run/walk are led by independent local communities. The goal of this global movement is to show world leaders that we all care about this. With every step we take, we would like for these leaders to help put pressure on Hamas to release the hostages. Wonderfully, locals, who are not Israeli or Jewish and have no connection to Israel are joining this movement because of their compassion for the hostages.
It is an opportunity to get to know others in the Jewish community and I have had some wonderful conversations. One Sunday I paired off with another walker who happened to be an Israeli who told me of his experience as an IDF soldier. Sometimes we talk politics, tech or DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion) and sometimes we discuss theology, where to find a good whitefish platter or marvel at whales and dolphins we see. But the best part is when people stop us.
They stop us to ask about the posters and what is happening with the hostage crisis. Often people stop just to tell us they are rooting for Israel. It is a hopeful time for me because it allows me to see how much support there is for Israel when often it seems as though news media outlets and social media are flooded with pro-Palestinian demonstrators screaming for the genocide of Jews, supporting the actions of Hamas, as well as harassing, threatening and assaulting Jews in the USA and elsewhere.
The wind gusts are strong this morning but nothing can daunt me. There are fewer hostages to run/walk for and for that, I am grateful. The trees are whipping in the breeze and I am thinking that maybe wearing a skirt this morning was not such a good idea. The runners return as I get out of my car and the other walkers gather in the next few minutes. We all greet each other and catch up on our weeks. We are a community within a community and the support as we do this together, is invaluable. I realize that although we are thousands of miles away, what Hamas did and is doing traumatized the Jewish community in San Diego and worldwide. We will never forget and we will not stop fighting until everyone so violently taken from their home is returned. We pin on our backs the posters of the hostages and start walking.
On this day, and every Sunday that we walk, and every early morning as I walk 10K, I am reminded of Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel. After returning from participating in the Selma-to-Montgomery March on March 21, 1965 , where he walked alongside The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. to gain civil rights for African Americans, he stated “I felt my legs were praying” It is the connection of activism with faith.
With every step I pray, as we do on these Sunday mornings…..bring them home now.
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Barrett Holman Leak is an educator, children’s author, resilience coach, community organizer, non-profit leader and former professional journalist. She may be contacted via bholmanleak@gmail.com