By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — Fearful that the Emmy Award Show would detract from coverage of his Iowa Caucus victory, Donald Trump created his own TV awards show to compete with it based on fictitious programs with the same titles as Emmy winners so viewers would not realize they weren’t watching the real Emmies ceremony. Here are the winners of the Donnies:
Outstanding Comedy Series: The Bear. The Trump version of The Bear features Vladmir Putin running a fake restaurant in Chicago from which Russian misinformation is disseminated about the Nazis who govern Ukraine and the imperative to elect Trump to support Russia’s military campaign to liberate Ukraine by stopping American aid to it.
Outstanding Drama Series: Succession. Like Logan Roy at Waystar Royco in HBO’s Succession Donald Trump refuses to let anyone replace him. He not only undermines his Democratic enemies but also Don Jr., Eric, and Ivanka who are the counterparts respectively of Kendall, Roman, and Shiv Roy.
Outstanding Limited Series: Beef. The first episode of this show featured Donald Trump reading his Truth Social posts denigrating the judges overseeing his trials and Joe Biden, Fani Willis, Merrick Garland, and Jack Smith for persecuting him for innocently trying to overturn an election he believes he won. The second episode follows Trump as he stuffs his face with McDonald hamburgers. In the third episode, he suffers a coronary like Logan Roy from cholesterol deposits in his arteries.
Although he hates Ron De Sanctimonious, Trump hates pedophile groomers even more and eliminated the reality show category when he heard that RuPaul’s Drag Race won the Emmy in that category.
Outstanding Talk Show: CNN’s Republican Town Hall with Donald Trump. When Donald Trump pontificates, he speaks for everyone except the Commie vermin and immigrants poisoning the blood of Americans.
Honorable Mention: The White Lotus for catering only to wealthy white guests like Mar-a-Lago.
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Baron is professor emeritus at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via Lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com