By Rabbi Daniel Reich
LA JOLLA, California — A number of years ago, I remember hearing a profoundly insightful commentary related to this week’s parsha from Rav Meir Goldwicht Shlit”a (parenthetically, Rabbi Goldwicht was the officiating Rabbi who married us). I’d like to share that idea here:
The deaths of Aharon’s sons, Nadav and Avihu, who offered a foreign fire which Hashem had not commanded, appear in the Torah four times. Certainly, the Torah wishes us to contemplate this episode and to analyze it in-depth, and try to understand its relevance. Perhaps, one way is by looking at it from the vantage point of their father Aharon.
Aharon’s reaction to the deaths of his sons, the Torah tells us, is silence: “vayidom Aharon” (Vayikra 10:3). The midrash (quoted in the Torah Shleimah) explains: “The Torah didn’t say ‘vayishtok Aharon,’ which would indicate refraining from speaking and crying, but ‘vayidom Aharon,’ indicating emotional calm and spiritual tranquility. How are we to understand Aharon’s spiritual tranquility despite the deaths of two of his sons?
Immediately after the Torah informs us of Aharon’s reaction, the Torah says that Hashem taught Aharon the law that a kohein may not drink wine when he comes to perform the service in the temple. Rashi explains that this was Aharon’s reward for his silence. In other words, according to Rashi, God gave Aharon a special connection with Him for his reaction to the death by speaking to Aharon alone and not, as He usually did, by speaking to Moshe and Aharon together or to Moshe alone. Almost as a form of comfort to Aharon.
The question that arises, however, is that the parsha which Hashem teaches Aharon basically comes to warn the kohen doing the Avodah that if he comes to the Beit HaMikdash after drinking wine, he will die! Is this the comfort that one gives to a person who has just lost two sons? “Be careful or else you and your other two sons will die too”? What is the meaning behind Rashi’s comment that this parsha was Aharon’s comfort for his silence?
These questions lead us to the topic of shtikah (silence). Shtikah generally indicates one of two things: 1) Fear, such as when a person who is yelled at remains silent; or 2) acquiescence, as in shtikah k’hoda’ah, when one person claims money from another and the latter is silent, essentially admitting that he owes the claimant money. Aharon teaches us that shtikah (silence) can indicate something else as well.
We can understand this third type of shtikah from the following gemara (Menachot 29b): When God showed Moshe the true greatness of R’ Akiva, Moshe asked God, “If You have such a great person, why don’t You give the Torah through him?” Hakadosh Baruch Hu responded, “Shtok, be silent!” Moshe continued, asking to see R’ Akiva’s reward for his Torah. God showed Moshe the markets of Rome, where R’ Akiva’s flesh was being weighed and sold. Moshe challenged, “This is the Torah and this is its reward?!” God again responded, “Shtok! This is what I have decided”. What kind of response is “Shtok!”? How does that answer the question? Rather, God was teaching Moshe that there are things that one can understand only if one sees the entire picture. This can only be done when one is silent because when one speaks, one concentrates only on what he’s saying, ignoring the surroundings. Shtikah allows one to evaluate his surroundings and to see the entire picture.
R’ Akiva teaches us this lesson in Pirkei Avot as well: “Seyag lachochmah, shtikah – Silence leads one to wisdom” instead of Silence is a guarantee for wisdom because through shtikah one is able to perceive the entire picture.
This was the greatness of Aharon’s silence. His silence doesn’t represent emotional coldness, for he certainly cried over the loss of his two sons. Rather, Aharon had the ma’alah (positive trait) of shtikah, which let him see the entire picture, enabling him to accept the deaths of his sons with tranquility and love for Hashem. This is essentially a halacha in the Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim §222), which rules that one must have a tranquil frame of mind and full desire when blessing Hashem for the bad just as one has when blessing Him for the good because when bad things happen to those who serve Hashem, they accept it with love.
That is perhaps why the commandment not to drink wine comes right after this story. Because Aharon was being told by God not to let loose of his incredible ability to come close to God through deep concentration like silence. Wine, especially during the service of Hashem can lead a person to lose this grip of true reality. This commandment is not a warning that Aharon may die too, but rather an emphasis of Aharon’s intimacy with Hashem. We now understand how this parsha served as a source of comfort to Aharon.
The concept of shtikah relates to all of us. No matter how often we become angry, rightfully or otherwise, if we possess the skill of shtikah, remaining silent until we have calmed down, we will always be happy in hindsight that we did not react immediately. Shtikah has the power to prevent machloket, to prevent anger, and to allow one to see the greater picture. The greatness of shtikah allows us to consider the whole situation and to weigh our reaction with the proper balance rather than reacting impulsively. Through shtikah, we arrive at wisdom. Chochmah, which allows us to see the whole picture, leads to elevate our lives, individually and communally, to new heights.
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Rabbi Daniel Reich is spiritual leader of Congregation Adat Yeshurun.