By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
SAN DIEGO — Have you ever heard your mom say, “Keep complaining and I’ll give you something to really complain about”? Well, this week’s Torah portion, Behaalotecha, is basically that story in action!
The Israelites just left Egypt, and guess what? They’re already grumbling about their food. They’re like,”Ugh,this manna is so boring! We want the meat and stuff we used to eat back in Egypt!” Rashi says the Israelites complained, “How weary we have become on the road; we have not rested for days.” They also complained about the manna, because even if it tasted like anything a person wanted it to, it always looked the same. The Israelites missed the food they ate in Egypt. Look backwards and focus on what’s lacking in your life and you fill up with self-doubt. And this often leads to failure.
Moses is like, “Oy vey, can these people just be happy for five minutes?” Exasperated, Moses cries out to Hashem, “Kill me rather, I beg you, and let me see no more of my wretchedness” So, he begs Hashem to make them stop whining. But Hashem’s response is epic: “You want meat? You got it! A whole month of meat until it’s coming out your ears!”
Moses is freaking out. He’s like, “Wait, where are we gonna get all that meat from? This is crazy!” Here’s the interesting part: there are two different takes on what this means about Moses.
One Rabbi, Rabbi Akiva, says Moses was despondent and bummed out. He couldn’t imagine Hashem being THAT awesome and providing so much. He couldn’t see how Hashem could solve their food problem, let alone the possibility of hidden abundance all around them (think overflowing grocery stores hidden in sand dunes!). Basically, Moses was feeling hopeless, like there were no good options.
Another Rabbi, Rabbi Shimon ben Eleazar, says Moses wasn’t some downer with a lack of imagination, and thought Moses totally believed Hashem could rain down a mountain of meat. But Rabbi ben Eleazar thought Moses was worried that if Hashem gave the people everything they wanted, they’d just keep asking for more. Kind of like a kid who keeps asking for candy – eventually they get a stomachache, right? This Rabbi thought that Moses’ question about where all the meat would come from wasn’t a doubt about Hashem’s power, but rather it was a thought about whether it was the best idea for this to happen.
So, what’s the lesson here? Maybe it’s to appreciate what you have, even if it’s not perfect. And maybe it’s also about being careful what you wish for – you might just get it!
Hashem responds with a deadly plague of an over-abundance of quail, so much that it was coming out of the people’s noses! What’s the p’shat, the simple lesson? Not appreciating what you have brings dire consequences to your wellbeing, physically and emotionally. Complain about your life, have doubt, and you’ll remain where you are in your life. Praise your life and you’ll raise from where you are in your life.
The word for ‘doubt’ in Hebrew is safek (240), which is the same gematria (numerical value) of Amalek, the nation that the Torah commands us to eliminate from the world. So, our deeper task is to be grateful for all that we are given, which strengthens our faith and eliminates the forces that make us fall.
It’s especially important to guard your inner words, the words you use against yourself, if you want to promote your own emotional wellbeing. Contemporary psychology teaches us the importance of unconditional acceptance of oneself… it is said that self-esteem is emotional cancer in that it is conditional.
Sometimes we’re like Moses, stuck and unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But other times, with a little imagination, faith, or even just hope, we can glimpse a future full of possibilities. Think of it like being stuck in the desert. You can only see a few miles ahead, but that doesn’t mean there’s no oasis just beyond! There’s always potential for great things, even when things seem bleak.
What we can wisely do, is look up, catch our negative thinking and erroneous predictions, and keep walking. Our positive, flexible, logical, factual thoughts help us “broaden and build.” They open us up to new possibilities and help us connect with others. So even when you’re facing one challenge after another, and who doesn’t, a positive outlook can be your secret weapon.
Remember the Israelites in this week’s Torah portion? They were stressed, hungry, and scared. Stuck in a total desert bummer! But we can all be like Rabbi Shimon ben Eleazar’s Moses – the one with a little imagination and hope. By focusing on the good stuff, love, faith, whatever works for you, we can see a brighter future and build the tools we need to overcome any obstacle.
So next time you’re thinking and feeling down, don’t just white-knuckle your way through. Look for the good, connect with loved ones, and remember – a positive outlook linked with Hashem is your superpower! After all, we don’t have the final say, He does.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun.