By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — Let’s face it, Biden did poorly. His doddering performance reinforced all the MAGA claims that he is too feeble and forgetful to serve another four-year term. Barring Biden dropping out of the race and Taylor Swift replacing him (she turns 35 in December), the prospects of Trump winning have increased considerably.
The only way Biden can rectify the situation is to crush Trump in the next debate. Here’s what he must do then.
–Dress Trump in an orange jump suit that matches his skin. He will still be allowed to wear his 1/6 souvenir red tie with the picture of a noose and “Hang Mike Pence” embroidered underneath it.
–Slip a molly into Trump’s Diet Coke before the debate.
–Demand that the debate be hosted by Court TV with Judges Engoron and Merchan serving as moderators.
–Administer increasingly strong electric shocks to Biden and Trump when they tell lies. If this is done, Trump probably won’t last for more than ten minutes.
–If the subject of golf comes up again, have Biden ask for a mulligan if he’s off to a bad start.
OR
–Ditch the debate format since governing is not about improvisation without advisors and access to data and replace it with a variation of Survivor. Strand Biden and Trump on different islands with experts they select and let them figure out what resources and policies they need to survive there for the month of October. Right before the election televise how each is doing. I surmise Biden will have provided food equitably for his team and that Trump’s Island will be a scene out of Lord of the Flies in which Trump will be acting like Roger.
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Laurie Baron is professor emeritus at San Diego State University.
Perhaps the rules could allow Biden to stand next to Aaron while holding his staff toward the commentator.
Oy, Deny, deflect, and spin: typical rhetoric for deniers of Biden’s foibles. . Debates aren’t productive?. BS; they are held to highlight the candidates prowess for being able to think cognitively and coherently, under duress. Biden proved that he is incompetent – did his handlers withhold his Alzheimer’s medications? (Memantine and Aricept (Donepeziil) are the gold standards for dementia.) While his medical history is protected by HIPPA, the sitting president’s medical history is germane to the public, keeping it “secret” is not an option. The Democrat Party could, and should have groomed a viable candidate when Biden started showing signs of Alzheimer’s disease, more than four years ago while he was campaigning for office.
Perhaps you misread the title of the piece. Key word was Satire. Are you comments also meant as Satire?