By Shayna Kaufmann
SAN DIEGO — Last Thursday I drove to L.A. to attend an author book event at the Ms. Magazine (as in, the feminist journal) headquarters. Just writing that makes me feel cool. I was curious to see Dr. Sharon Malone interviewed about her new bestselling book, Grown Women Talk. I was also intrigued to join the pre-watch Biden-Trump presidential debate (or rather, debacle) party with a group of women. The latter was painful for everyone, though the rest of the evening was awesome.
For one, the room was filled with poster size images of various Ms. Magazine covers. I was filled with awe and appreciation for the critical yet sticky issues its writers have tackled over the decades, such as domestic violence, sexual harassment, abortion, equal rights, and other women’s issues historically sidelined in mainstream media. Wow! I felt like I was in a sacred space – a sort of ground zero for women’s rights.
Katherine Spillar, the executive editor of Ms. Magazine since 2006, welcomed the unexpectedly small group of 50 or so, before introducing the author and interviewer Jennifer Weiss-Wolf, another Ms. writer and powerhouse advocate. As the women chatted, they often pointed out people in the audience who had been involved in women’s health research, initiatives on capitol hill, or documentaries. I loved how easily these women shared the spotlight, by calling out and supporting one another’s efforts.
And, I was the recipient of their generosity as well. I had a lovely banter with a woman I sat next to before asking her affiliation. “I work with Maria Shriver,” she said, “I do the bulk of the lobbying for legislation at the White House.” Jaw drop. I babbled something about being a fan of Maria and the Sunday Paper and mentioned that she is in my book. The woman asked for my card.
As the author signed my book, I asked if I could send her my manuscript. “Sure,” she replied, as she scribbled her email on a sticky note. And when I thanked the interviewer for a lovely evening, and just happened to mention my forthcoming book, she replied, “Let me know when it comes out. We’ll do something here.” Eeeeek! Who knows if anything will come of these gestures but it sure felt good to hear their interest and support.
The point of sharing my story is that women in midlife increasingly have each other’s backs. Mostly gone are the competition and scarcity mentality of our earlier decades. We know there is enough to go around and want to lift each other up in solidarity. Mentoring and mutual support feel good. We appreciate that a win for one of us is a win for all.
Consider these questions:
1. Who has given you a hand? Made a connection for you? Helped you grow?
2. Who have you lifted up? Shared your wisdom with? Helped grow?
3. Who would you like to support? Offer an introduction? Be a sounding board for?
Women need each other; It is still a male-dominated society out there. We are louder when we unite and share in each other’s joys and successes. In the words of Alexandra Elle, a bestselling author, wellness educator, and podcaster, “Celebrating another woman’s triumphs or success will never take away from your shine or glory. If anything, it’ll add to and create more light.”
Wishing you all a safe and joyful July 4th!
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Dr. Shayna Kaufmann, a psychologist, received her mindfulness teacher training through Dharma Moon and Tibet House US. She leads meditation workshops and retreats and teaches mindfulness individually.