San Diego: A Place for Shell-Shocked Israelis to Unwind

SAN DIEGO –We use the word “resilience” these days to describe the psychological strength needed to cope with grief and hardship and to recover from difficult life events. This past month, I came face-to-face with true resilience and was left in awe.

Over the past few weeks, we hosted two delegations from our sister region of Sha’ar HaNegev, offering the opportunity for processing and respite. It was a chance to take a moment, with their San Diego family, to come back to themselves and breathe.

The first was a group of young adults in their 20s and 30s – a demographic impacted beyond comprehension by the events of October 7. There are no degrees of separation for them from the trauma of that terrible day and the war to follow. So many young people they knew were killed or captured at the Nova Festival, so many of the fallen soldiers are their age, and Kfar Aza – the neighborhood that suffered the most casualties in the region – was full of young people just starting their lives. Their pain was palpable. Many struggled with the guilt of having survived and remained free when their good friends, and in many cases family members, either died or remain in captivity.

This visit allowed them to escape the stress of living in a country at war and the uncertainty and constant sadness they face back home. Their itinerary was a mix of personal connections, experiencing Jewish life in San Diego, pure tourist fun and emotional healing, mixed in with daily Target runs, now a regular fixture for any Israeli delegation.

During a particularly meaningful lunch at our Jewish Community Building, the young adults shared their deeply personal stories with our staff and communal partners. Some spoke about rushing into the chaos on October 7 to defend their kibbutz. Others spoke of their time serving in the army after the attack. All of them talked about how anxious they were about coming to the U.S., worried they would be faced with protests and antisemitism. Instead, they were moved find an entire community waiting to embrace them with open arms – and not just the Jews.

Everywhere they went, they were encouraged and supported, even by random fans at a Padres game who saw Jewish stars on their hats, heard them speaking Hebrew and shouted out their support. They spoke movingly of their best friends still held in captivity by Hamas and their collective mission to ensure the hostages are not forgotten. “We are doing everything we can – spiritually, religiously, physically – to feel connected to them and bring them home,” said one of the young men.

One young woman came to me in tears, sharing that after a week of kayaking and shopping and pickleball and baseball and touring and celebrating Shabbat, they visited the San Diego County Fair, and for the first time since October 7, she had felt real joy. It took her breath away, and she began to believe that she could feel that way one day again. The visit gave her and her friends hope; there is no greater gift we can give.

On Thursday, we said goodbye to a delegation of social workers from Sha’ar HaNegev’s Department of Social Services. These dedicated professionals were directly affected by the horrific attacks on October 7, experiencing the fear, loss, and chaos firsthand. Yet they continue to serve, offering crucial psychological support to countless victims, families, and communities shattered by these events. The demand for psychological support services has risen by over 700% in the region, and as one of them said, they have “filled themselves up with other people’s trauma,” leaving no room to process their own. We brought them to San Diego to help them find the emotional space to go back and keep doing this lifesaving work.

Their visit was both profound and transformative. Through mindful journaling, connecting with local mental health professionals, immersing themselves in the serene environment of Katy’s Farm and yoga on the beach, a delicious cooking class, and moments of connection with one another and our community members, they found much-needed relief. They, of course, also indulged in a few Target runs, and even enjoyed a night of letting loose at a local karaoke bar.

In a final reflection we heard things like, “I genuinely feel like I have been able to disconnect,” “Something came unstuck inside me,” and “I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my chest.” They were amazed at the strength of the partnership between our communities and told us they feel as though they always have a home in San Diego. Which they do. One shared, “While we don’t believe there is a safe space anymore, we believe in safe moments. Thank you for all the safe moments you have given us in San Diego.”

These visits underscored the power of our ongoing partnership and the vital role we play in fostering healing and resilience. When we asked each delegation what we could do to continue to support them, their answers were simple and profound: More people-to-people connections. More friendships. More visits. More safe moments shared between our communities. Knowing we are here, that we care, that we are one family has been a balm for their souls. And having them here has been a balm for ours.

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Heidi Gantwerk is the President and CEO of the Jewish Federation of San Diego.