Some Advice for Newly Minted Rabbis

Imagine that a Rabbi with many years of experience was asked to deliver a message to a rabbinical graduation class. What would he or she say? Perhaps the following message might be appropriate:

My dear graduates, you sit before me eager and willing to go out into life and take your places as leaders of synagogues across this country. Let me tell you a few things.

In case there is some confusion among you, let me state right from the beginning that you are not G-d. You are not even his representative or his agent. You are a man or woman, like all other men and women, with strengths and weaknesses, with good deeds to your credit and sins to you discredit. Do not become a god nor let others make you into a god. Resist with fortitude the celebrity hunters who shall try to make you into a star, rob you of your humanity, but much more importantly, steal from you all of your effectiveness.

Don’t think yourself a shepherd with a flock because implied in that is not only your superiority but their inferiority. It should be quite the reverse. Insist on your humanity; do not allow man to turn you into an idol.

Do not look down upon those in your congregation who do not observe as much or as well as you. If you had been in their circumstances, perhaps you would not have been any better; perhaps you would have been worse.

Remember that you are a leader and cannot be afraid of controversy. The very least you owe your congregation is your honesty.

Learn to say ”no” and also to say ”yes.” Learn to say “I don’t know,” and then investigate further. If they learn to fear you, people will learn to fear and avoid Judaism. On the other hand, if they grow to love you, they also may grow to love their faith and their God.

Don’t speak unless you have something genuine and worthwhile to say. Learn to say to your congregation, “This week I have nothing to say.” Eventually, they will learn to respect you for this.

Don’t preach! Who are you to preach to others? Is your life without blemish that you can chastise others? If you feel it must be done, then be sure to tell everyone that you are preaching to yourself, because from time to time, we all need to search our souls. None of us was born perfect. Each one of us can stand improvement, rabbi’s included. Always talk about something in which you have expertise.

And don’t do all the talking with your congregation. Also do a lot of listening, not only to the words but to the intentions that lie in conversations. Ask yourself often, what is he really saying to me? And don’t be afraid to ask lots of questions. Get to know your members because if you don’t, then when you perform ceremonies for them, they will be empty and devoid of feeling, they will be a sham, and you and your members will know it.

Learn to speak everyone’s language; to talk to children and be encouraging and warm to them. Remember, you also were once a child and you can recall how much it meant to have the rabbi come over to your small form and caress your cheek and tell you how good he felt because you were in shul that day.

Be nice also to adults, for they too need a smile and a warm handshake. Look for the good in people, but never give false compliments and never ever look down upon anyone.

Above all else, remember to have compassion, to be kind. If in all of your years of study, you have not learned compassion, then you have learned nothing whatsoever about the essence of Judaism.

And if in the synagogue, someone makes a mistake, as happens from time to time, do not embarrass them in public because our teachings say that he who embarrasses his friend in a public place loses in that instant his right in the world to come. Be careful, my dear rabbi, when you are about to utter words of reproach. Remember that nowhere does it say that a man who makes a mistake loses his portion of the world to come.

Do not hesitate to be a public relations man for Judaism and a salesman too if need be. Be hesitant to ask for personal favors, but for the benefit of our people, develop real ambition, aggressiveness and even chutzpah.

Strive to make each and every Jew feel special, wanted and appreciated. Nobody likes to be a number or just another face in the crowd.

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Rabbi Dr. Bernhard H. Rosenberg is rabbi emeritus of Congregation Beth-El in Edison, New Jersey and is the author of Theological and Halachich Reflections on the Holocaust, among other books.