By Barrett Holman Leak
SAN DIEGO — After only two weeks, one of the most gossiped about new Netflix streaming series is renewed for a second season. This is amidst a turbulent series of praise about actor Adam Brody carving out a “Jewish heartthrob niche” and criticism about an agnostic Los Angeles podcaster who he falls in love with, portrayed by actress Kristen Bell.
Is this show at the very least insensitive and at the other end antisemitic? Does it inaccurately portray a relationship between a Jew and a non-Jew?Is it a great rom-com? Is it full of stereotypes and tropes? Having been focused on the real world and missing all the social media hype, I binge-watched the entire season and walked away with some mixed reflections.
The Hot Rabbi
Adam Brody, a native San Diegan who is Jewish in real life, plays Rabbi Noah Roklov, and is known in the series and by viewers as the “hot rabbi.” Rabbi Noah is an urban clergyman who smokes The Chronic (marijuana) and plays b-ball when he is not working at the synagogue where he hopes to be promoted to Senior Rabbi when his boss retires. He is handsome, confident yet humble, well-mannered, emotionally open and balanced. The unconventional rabbi is the son of Russian immigrants and younger brother to Sasha, another son who is happily married to a Jewish woman.
The Shiksa
Kristen Bell, portrays Joanne, an agnostic podcaster who, together with her sister, banters over the airwaves about modern sex, dating and relationships. Joanne has a fair amount of relationship baggage that has left her cautious, sarcastic and quick to make a joke. She brings her wit to her unexpected connection with Noah as together they move cautiously into a relationship. Early on, Joanne meets his parents and it is not like Meet the Fockers. In that film, Roz Focker is very welcoming and supportive. She embraces her prospective (non-Jewish) daughter-in-law Pam with open arms. Roz Focker treats Pam with warmth and acceptance. In Nobody Wants This, instead of the effusively warm and embraceable Roz Focker character, we get Bina Roklov, who angrily labels Joanne a “shiksa”.
Shiksa is a Yiddish term typically used in a derogatory manner for a non-Jewish woman or girl. It is used several times in the 10-episode season, by Jewish women in the story, to belittle and denigrate Joanne.
Portrayal of Jewish Women
As I watched the series, I grimaced but did not have a strong reaction to the word “shiksa” because I have been hit with that derogatory word more than once (but not regularly) over my lifetime and fairly recently. Once, in high school, a boyfriend’s grandfather saw us holding hands while walking to the beach one afternoon. Later that evening his mother told him that she and his father would prefer he be gay than date a black shiksa because I could not be hidden. She never thought to ask him if I am Jewish.
Just like the N-word, it is hurtful, hateful and discriminatory, but sadly, it happens. I read carefully through a Nobody Wants This series social media discussion (in a Jewish community) about the use of this word and the way Jewish women are portrayed in the series. There was anger about both and denial that this word is used. But there were also quite a few people such as myself who know Jewish women who use the pejorative word.. So, it was not unrealistic. But let me put it succinctly into the context of the series
The context is that there was not one kind, caring, humane Jewish woman presented in this romantic comedy.
Bina Roklov, her daughter-in-law Miriam, Miriam’s friends, and Rebecca the ex-girlfriend, are all portrayed in stereotypes and tropes of Jewish women as toxic: the overbearing mother, manipulative, materialistic and status-conscious, dishonest, secretive, a religious hypocrite, nagging and critical.
The series was in Episode 9 in the 10-episode series before there was any humanity shown in a Jewish woman in the series. Noah brings Joanne to meet his parents, Ilan and Bina Roklov. During the dinner, Joanne tries to impress Noah’s family by bringing a non-kosher charcuterie board filled with prosciutto (pork). Bina is angry and shows disgust at Joanne bringing non-kosher/treif food into their home.
The dinner conversation is at first tense, then explosive. “Hot rabbi” Noah defends Joanne and checks his mother, Bina, who then leaves the dinner table, going into the kitchen. Joanne follows a few minutes later and finds Bina voraciously eating the prosciutto. Suddenly Bina changes her tone as the other members of the family come into the kitchen and Joanne covers for her. This temporary lull in the animosity, I realized, was supposed to be a humorous moment. I did not laugh.
The Good Parts
Yes, there are good things about the series. I laughed at the campers’ conversations. I thought the oversized sunflowers Noah brought to dinner with Joanne’s parents was funny. Throughout the series there are general positive and realistic depictions of Judaism, the Jewish community and Jewish lifecycle events. I loved that Jewish summer camp was included in the series. It is refreshing to see realistic portrayals of Jewish men as attractive, capable, confident, caring, balanced, and successful.
But in this series, Jewish women are being presented as devoid of warmth, generosity, humor, resilience, love and humanity. To depict every Jewish woman in all the episodes of one television series season that is centered on Jews, Judaism, and Jewish community like this is antisemitism in the media.
The series is already renewed for a second season so I hope that everyone involved in creating the series will change/correct the portrayal of Jewish women.
The Real Story
This series was developed by and from the real-life story of Ellen Foster, the daughter of music producer David Foster, and Simon Tikhman, a music executive. Erin and Simon met in 2018. Erin converted to Judaism and they married on New Year’s Eve in 2019.
*
Barrett Holman Leak is an author, educator, and community organizer.
Great review and accurate analysis.
Erin Foster has actually said in many recent interviews that her now mother in law was incredibly welcoming and loving and supportive but that doesn’t make good TV. Hopefully as executive producer she is hearing the criticism and will course correct for season 2. Hopefully.
I would make one correction to your otherwise accurate condemnation of how Jewish women are portrayed. In the Summer camp episode, the woman rabbi is quite empathic and supportive of Noah’s dating a non-Jewish woman which stands in stark contrast to how Noah believes Rabbi Cohen will react.
My husband and I have watched the first two episodes. As a fan of the OC, I was thrilled to see Adam Brody return as “the hot” rabbi. I believe his role rejects stereotypes of the nerdy Jewish Rabbi. But I do agree, from what I have seen thus far, the Jewish women are portrayed as stereotypical. I was also a bit disappointed to see character Bina Roklov, played by Tovah Feldshuh, who was a great charter in the “Walking Dead” series, take on this stereotypical overbearing Jewish mother role.
Thank you for the fair and interesting thoughts.