By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
EL CAJON, California — This week, as we read וַיִּגַּשׁ (Vayigash), we encounter what many consider to be one of the most emotionally powerful moments in the entire Torah. We witness the remarkable story of Joseph—the first person in the Torah to teach us how to heal and transform the way we think, feel, and respond to life’s challenges.
Joseph, the son of Jacob, is often seen as a “psychologist” of sorts—a spiritual guide who models how to reframe our thoughts in the face of adversity. Imagine the moment when Joseph reveals himself to his brothers: “I am Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. But now, do not be distressed, and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that G-d sent me ahead of you.” What a transformative perspective! Joseph teaches us that no matter what happens in life, we can choose to view it through a lens of faith, trust, and purpose.
Joseph’s message is powerful: nothing happens “to” us, but rather “for” us. When we face hardships, we are not victims of fate, but rather we are being given an opportunity to grow, to learn, and to become better versions of ourselves. Difficulties are not punishments from above—they are moments that Hashem sends us to help us align with His will. Joseph’s incredible ability to forgive his brothers, and his refusal to carry resentment, is a model of emotional freedom. By reframing his experience, Joseph liberated himself from anger, and in doing so, he transformed his circumstances.
This week, as we reflect on Joseph’s story, let’s ask ourselves, “How can we shift our perspective?” The next time we face a challenge, instead of letting anger and frustration take hold, let’s pause and ask, “What is this teaching me? What can I learn from this?” By changing our mindset, we can shift our emotions and approach the world with compassion, understanding, and faith. Life is full of challenges, but as Joseph demonstrated, we can always find meaning in them. We may not always be able to change our circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond. Even in the most difficult of times, we can grow closer to one another, to strengthen our faith, and to reorient our lives toward what truly matters. Through adversity, we can find the chance to focus more on relationships, on spiritual growth, and on the things that bring us deeper meaning and purpose.
Joseph’s story also teaches us about vulnerability and open-hearted communication. He shows us that when repair is possible, we would be wise to be willing to be vulnerable—to speak from the heart, with honesty and compassion. Rabbi Moshe Ibn Ezra, a great philosopher, poet, and linguist, teaches us that “Words that come from the heart, enter the heart.” Joseph’s tears, his openness with his brothers, his willingness to feel deeply—these are all expressions of his emotional health and maturity. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, when we speak our truth from a place of deep connection, we invite healing into our relationships and into our own hearts.
Joseph teaches us the power of a positive mindset. Research confirms what our sages have known for centuries—that when we focus on finding the good in every situation, our health, happiness, and resilience improve. When we change the way we think about difficulty, we change the way we experience it. The secret to emotional well-being is not in avoiding suffering, but in finding the wisdom and strength to transform it into something positive.
This is the emotional health that Joseph exemplifies. He weeps—not from bitterness, but from the depth of his compassion and understanding. His tears are not tears of victimhood, but of recognition that his life’s journey, no matter how painful, had purpose. He can see the good in every moment, even in the moments of hardship, because he believes that Hashem was guiding his steps all along.
As we navigate our own challenges, we can take Joseph’s lead and embrace life’s difficulties with a mindset of growth, understanding, and deep trust in Hashem. When we change the way we view adversity—when we choose to see it not as something “unfair,” when we choose to refuse to make ourselves upset, but rather see things as an opportunity to learn, grow, and become more aligned with our purpose—we open ourselves to a world of possibility.
Joseph’s ability to forgive, to find meaning in his suffering, and to heal through love and understanding teaches us that the way we respond to adversity shapes our future. As Viktor Frankl, a renowned psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, so poignantly wrote, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Joseph’s story is a living testament to the transformative power of changing our perspective, and to the idea that within every challenge, there is an opportunity for spiritual growth and personal redemption.
This week let’s commit to seeing the world through Joseph’s eyes. Let’s practice reframing our thoughts, embracing our vulnerabilities, and finding the hidden lessons in every experience. By doing so, we can not only heal ourselves, but we can become a source of healing and light for those around us. Just as Joseph rose above his circumstances to create a future full of purpose and meaning, so too can we rise, stronger and more compassionate, through the trials we face.
May we all have the strength and wisdom to look at life through a lens of compassion, acceptance, optimism, love, faith, and endless possibility.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun.
Thanks for the teachings