By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
EL CAJON, California — In Shemot 3:11, when Hashem calls Moses to confront Pharaoh and lead the Israelites out of Egypt, Moses responds with an expression of self-doubt: “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh, and that I should take the children of Israel out of Egypt?” Hashem’s reply is profound in its psychological and emotional depth: “For I will be with you, and this is the sign for you that it was I Who sent you. When you take the people out of Egypt, you will worship Hashem on this mountain.”
At a deeper level, Hashem’s promise—I will be with you—is one of union. It is a promise of emotional, psychological, and spiritual oneness. “I will experience your anguish, your struggle, and your pain with you, as you fulfill this monumental task.” This is not a detached presence, but one that deeply understands and empathizes with Moses’ inner turmoil. Hashem is saying, in essence, “I will be one with you, just as you are one with the people you care so deeply about.”
This connection to the people’s suffering is central to Moses’ leadership. Five times in this parsha, Hashem makes it clear that He is not merely aware of the Israelites’ pain; He feels it. Similarly, Moses, too, experiences a profound emotional pull to connect with his people’s plight. Hashem recognizes this in Moses, not as a weakness, but as a profound strength. Moses’ deep, empathetic connection with the suffering of others is the very essence of what makes him the leader Hashem chooses.
Psychologically, this offers us a timeless and crucial lesson: we are called not just to observe the suffering of others but to fully experience it as if it were our own. Empathy alone is insufficient; it must be coupled with action. We are not merely passive witnesses to the pain of others but active participants in alleviating it. And in doing so, we also diminish our own pain—by reducing the suffering of others, we heal a part of ourselves. It’s about giving more than getting…and here, what we give, care, we receive as well.
The passage from Shemot Rabbah (1:27) further illuminates this. The text recounts how Hashem spoke to Moses from the burning bush and chose him as the leader because of his ability to put aside his own concerns and “share in the suffering of others.” This suggests that the pathway to Divine favor is through compassion—a recognition that suffering is not merely an external event but something that calls for an internal, emotional response.
Rav Eliyahu Lopian teaches that Hashem wanted the Israelites to earn His compassion by living it. At the time of their oppression, the Israelites were not particularly deserving of divine compassion; they had sunk to a low level of spiritual impurity. Yet Hashem set in motion a series of events in which the Israelites could demonstrate compassion toward one another. By showing compassion to each other, they could open themselves to receive Hashem’s compassion. The fires in Los Angeles this week demonstrates the benefits of compassion to others, neighbors, friends, family.
This mirrors a key insight from contemporary psychology: compassion is reciprocal. When we open our hearts to others, we create space for others to open their hearts to us. When we act with kindness, we invite kindness in return—not necessarily from the same person, but from life itself. Our emotional and psychological well-being is intimately tied to our capacity to connect with the suffering of others and act to alleviate it.
Take the example of Moses and the lamb from Shemot Rabbah (2:2). When Moses tenderly cares for a lamb that has strayed, his empathy and kindness are not just a response to the lamb’s need, but a demonstration of his deep, inherent sense of responsibility. It is this same quality that makes him the leader of Israel. This story highlights a key psychological truth: true leadership is not about power or prestige, but about the capacity to act with love, empathy, and compassion—even in the smallest of moments.
Furthermore, in Shemot 2:11, we are told that Moses “went out to his brothers and looked at their burdens.” The sages interpret this act of seeing as a pivotal moment in Moses’ life. It is through the act of seeing—really seeing—the suffering of others that Moses becomes “great.” This is the essence of empathy: not just the acknowledgment of suffering, but the choice to bear witness to it, to be with it, and to act in response to it.
In today’s world, this message is even more pressing. We are being called to open ourselves to each other. The psychological principles of empathy, connection, and compassion are not abstract ideals, but practical tools for navigating a world fraught with suffering. Whether it’s the social isolation many feel in our modern social media-filled times, the political and economic struggles that pervade our communities, the hateful and virulent antisemitism, random violence, we are called to engage deeply with the pain of others.
Moses teaches us that by opening our hearts to others, by acting with empathy and compassion, we come closer to Hashem. We, too, become one with Hashem in the deepest sense—emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically.
May we, like Moses, have the courage to see the burdens of others, to open our hearts to their suffering, and to act with compassion, so that we may heal the world and, in doing so, heal ourselves.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun.