By Ilanit Zakowski
LOS ANGELES — Despicable. Disgusting. Beyond words. It truly was.
I found myself trying to find the words on Thursday, Jan 30, to describe the transfers of the hostages that had taken place the past two weeks and I found myself wordless. It seemed that each transfer had become more hateful, more frightening, more terrifying than the previous one.
I simply found myself saying “there are no words” as the perpetrators were trying to give the impression the hostages were well treated but still tormenting them to the very last minute.
Minutes later I bumped into a colleague who had just returned from a trip to Israel. When I asked her how it was, she replied “I can’t even describe how amazing…” I answered “I know. A trip to Israel simply can not be put into words.” That is often my response, about living in Israel, or any of my visits.
How ironic that minutes earlier I couldn’t put this evil I had seen into words and now the polar opposite- I couldn’t describe the pure beauty and holiness of Israel and its people.
The videos and pictures became widespread as we all awaited the releases these past few days. We witnessed the first images: Doron Steinbrecher, Emily Damari and Romi Gonen’s propaganda-filled transfer- how they were forced to smile, accept a certificate and “goody bag”, appearing as if their time spent as hostages was all fun and games. That image of Doron, a beautiful young woman, in a bright pink sweater surrounded by a swarm of hostile Arabs chanting “Death to the Jews.” She looked absolutely terrified as she was being transferred to the Red Cross (in which I’m sure she and the others were wondering ‘where have you been all along?!’).
On social media, this image of Doron was displayed right next to an image of a little girl in a bright red coat surrounded by Nazi guards. How ironic to see those two pictures alongside one another this week, when we just commemorated the 80th anniversary of the Liberation of Auschwitz? The similarities between the two girls and the enemies surrounding them are striking.
As if that transfer couldn’t get any worse, a week later we saw the release of four (out of five) girls who had been violently kidnapped from their Nachal Oz base, after witnessing the murder of their fellow comrades. The images of them being taken on that fateful day will never leave me.
476 days later, it was a pure neis, miracle, to think they were still alive and that we’d actually see them. 476 days of saying their names every single day, begging for their release. Now they’d be returning. Now I continue to say their names, this time thanking Hashem for the miracle of their return.
But our enemies did not allow this handing-over to be a victory for us. Up until the last minute, when freedom was so close, they continued to fool the world. It was predicted that the girls would be released in army uniforms, “as soldiers, the same way they were taken,” Hamas claimed. I guess to the enemy being in bed in pajamas at 6:30 am is the same as stationed in army attire?
And sure enough, on the day of the release, they were dressed in fake soldier uniforms. They were filmed ‘thanking’ Hamas for their time in Gaza, in their newly spoken Arabic, learned in captivity. They, too, were handed certificates and “goody bags” which included a map of Gaza, to not forget the ‘memorable’ time they spent there. The four girls were then paraded onto a stage, in front of a jeering crowd of Jew-Haters, calling for their destruction. The banners displayed behind them were reminiscent to Nazi images and slogans. They were forced to raise their hands, in a show of forced excitement upon their commencement from captivity.
A few days later, Agam Berger, the 5th of that group, forced to remain behind, was released and had to endure the very same ‘ceremony’ by herself, surrounded once again by Hamas gunmen. Additionally, after continued Israeli insistence, Arbel Yehud was claimed to have been ‘found’ being held by Islamic Jihad, not Hamas. She was released in Thursday’s exchange.
I woke up this morning with a message from my friend in Israel, already having watched Arbel’s release warning me not to look at those images. I thought to myself ‘can it be that much worse than the previous day’s releases?’ Well, I looked and was sick to my stomach, almost as sick as I had felt on Oct. 7.
Unlike the previous women, Arbel was held all alone. There must have been hundreds of masked gunmen chanting for her death surrounding her. The terrified, poor look on her face does not describe the fear she must have felt right then, thinking that any moment she can be lynched. In fact, it was the masked gunman whose arm she had to hold onto, to ‘protect’ her from the others.
Arbel will return to learn her brother was killed on Oct. 7 and her boyfriend is still being held in captivity. I pray for her to heal and find a way to go on.
And once again, where are the women’s groups? Where are the human rights organizations? Silent again. But WE are not silent and never will be.
Today in Hallel for Rosh Chodesh, we recited “lo amut ki echye ve’asaper ma’asei kah”- “I won’t die, I will live and tell of the wonders of Hashem.” Holocaust survivors did that. Nova survivors are doing that. Our heroes being released will do that.
In an activity done with my Middle School students today, while brainstorming various virtues we strive for in our lives, ‘courage’ was one we listed. This was chosen simply because, as one of my students put it “Jews are courageous, we are strong.” And she was right.
Am Yisrael is strong, we know how to overcome adversity and will always stand for goodness even when evil is staring us in the face. And this is exactly what each of those released girls did.
They will and we will forever tell their stories of courage.
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Ilanit Zakowski is a Jewish educator, teaching and touching the lives of children of various ages in the greater LA area. She is also an English as a second language teacher and taught English to Israeli children during the decade she lived in Israel.