SAN DIEGO–On Monday, I turned 60. (Still getting used to saying that! 😊) For years, I thought 60 would be the moment when I’d finally have it all together—a cosmic ‘Congratulations, You’ve Arrived!’ banner unfurling the moment I blew out my birthday candles. Spoiler alert: No banner but I did have a different kind of revelatory experience.
I kicked off my birthday celebrations on Saturday night with an intimate gathering of friends and family at one of my favorite places—the yurt where I hold my all-day events. It had been lovingly transformed into a beautiful space, aglow with candles and flowers. In true Kaufmann hippy-ish style, we chanted, drank cacao, and I received the most precious gift of all—words of appreciation from those I hold dear. I sat there, speechless and smiling, feeling deeply seen and loved.
Then came the “crossing the threshold” ceremony. I was asked to reflect on what I wanted to leave behind in my 50s and what I wanted to welcome into my 60s. The answer came instantly:”enoughness.” I wanted to release the old stories that whispered, “I haven’t done enough,” “I haven’t served enough,” “I haven’t tried hard enough”—all feeding the belief that I am not enough.
As I stood before the rose-lined threshold, marking my entry into a new decade, I imagined leaving those stories behind. I envisioned releasing the exhausting game of measuring myself against self-imposed standards – of productivity, impact, competence, likeability, and more. No longer would my worth be something I had to earn or prove.
And what did I want to step into? The deep knowing that just being me—in all my wonderful, flawed humanness—has always been enough. That it’s inherent. I want my 60s to be about savoring life, resting when needed, and fully living.
With that vision in mind and my body buzzing with excitement, I leapt across the roses, as a drum beat and my friends and family cheered, landing in the arms of my amazing husband. It was a moment of pure joy!
I don’t know exactly how this journey of embracing “enoughness” will unfold, but I’m keeping it as an intention and entering my 60s with curiosity and an open heart. Though I once imagined this decade as the pinnacle of clarity, I now know there is no grand arrival. We are always evolving, dancing between grace and struggle, knowing and unknowing.
So, here’s to 60—an age of freedom, perspective, and embracing the truth that I, that WE, have always been enough. No arrival necessary. If you’re on this journey too, let’s walk it together—curious, open, and fully present to the truth that we’ve always been enough.
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Shayna Kaufmann is an author, blogger, and freelance writer based in San Diego.
I Will be 90 on my next birthday and still struggle with feelings of not having done enough. My family thinks I do too much, even now, but I do not share those feelings. Are we ever satisfied with ourselves? I don’t know, even now. But your article is very thought-provoking.