By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
EL CAJON, California — This week’s Torah portion, Ki Tisa, provides us a powerful reflection on human nature, faith, and the psychological challenges we all face in our lives. The events surrounding the creation of the Golden Calf teach us about the consequences of our being impatient, inflexible and lacking trust.
As we reflect on the meaning of these events, we can learn important psychological lessons that are relevant not only to our spiritual lives but also to our mental health and overall well-being.
Have you ever felt completely lost when someone important disappeared from your life? That’s exactly what happened in this week’s Torah portion, Ki Tisa, and honestly, I think we can all relate.
Picture this: Moshe goes up Mount Sinai to receive the Torah, telling everyone he’ll be back in 40 days. But there’s a mix-up about when to start counting those days. Sounds like a small thing, right? But it snowballed into something huge.
By day 39, people are panicking. “Where’s Moshe? He should be back by now!” They’re looking around, feeling abandoned, their anxiety building. They can’t see Hashem’s presence anymore like they did during all those incredible miracles – the Exodus, the parting of the Red Sea, the manna from heaven. And so, they ask Aaron to make them a god they can actually see and touch. Enter the Golden Calf.
I think what makes this story so powerful is how human it is. These people had witnessed literal miracles, and yet the moment things got uncertain, they freaked out. Sound familiar? How many times have we lost faith when life didn’t go according to plan?
This episode holds profound psychological significance. It shows how easily we can lose our way when faced with uncertainty, confusion, and impatience, demanding that life be a certain way. The Israelites, who had witnessed miraculous events that defied all logic, were still susceptible to doubt and fear. In their desperation, they created the Golden Calf—a physical idol that symbolized their need for something they could see and touch, a form of faith they could hold in their hands.
The deeper message here is not just about idolatry, but about the fragility our human belief. Faith, bitachon, emunah, especially in times of uncertainty, requires patience and the ability to trust in the unseen, even when things are not going as we expect. The Israelites’ failure to wait for Moses, their impatience and inability to bear the discomfort of uncertainty, thinking it was indeed intolerable and unbearable, led them to create an idol in their hearts. Psychologically, we see how despair and negativity can erode our sense of trust, leading us to make poor decisions when we are not willing to be patient or flexible.
This story offers valuable lessons not only for our spiritual lives but for our mental health as well. One of the key psychological insights from this episode is the importance of mental flexibility—both in our thoughts and in our emotional responses. The Israelites’ inability to feel trust and faith, to be patient and flexible in their thinking during Moses’ absence, is a perfect example of the destructive power of rigidity.
Psychological rigidity is the inability to adjust one’s thinking to new demands or situations. It is a mental inflexibility that can manifest in many ways, such as anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive behaviors. When we are rigid, we are less able to adapt to life’s challenges, and our emotional responses become disproportionate. We may feel trapped in our own thoughts and beliefs, unable to consider alternative perspectives or solutions. This lack of flexibility often leads to heightened stress, frustration, and feelings of hopelessness.
The Israelites, in their desperation, were unable to wait for Moses and instead gave in to the pressure to create something they could see—a visible, tangible symbol of divinity. This moment of crisis revealed how rigidity in thinking can cause a loss of clarity and a poor response to uncertainty. When we refuse to adjust to the present moment or change our perspective, we risk losing the sense of connection and peace that faith provides.
Flexibility, on the other hand, is a hallmark of emotional and psychological health. It involves being open to new ideas, adjusting to new circumstances, and accepting the fluidity of life. This mental and emotional flexibility allows us to cope better with stress and uncertainty, improving our resilience and overall well-being. Contemporary approaches to mental coaching and psychotherapy help people disturb themselves less by learning to catch, challenge and change rigid, unhelpful thoughts and adopt healthier, more adaptable mindsets.
In the Torah, we find a strong emphasis on the importance of being flexible in our hearts and minds. The Hebrew term keshei oref (stiff-necked) is often used to describe the people of Israel’s resistance to change and their refusal to listen to divine guidance. This term appears when Hashem expresses His frustration with the Israelites after the Golden Calf incident. He says, “For they are a stiff-necked people” (Exodus 32:9). Rashi, commenting on this verse, explains that the stiff-necked people are like those who refuse to turn their necks to the direction of rebuke, unable to change their behavior or attitude. This refusal to be flexible is at the heart of their spiritual downfall.
The psychological implications of being stiff-necked are clear. People who are rigid in their thinking often refuse to acknowledge their mistakes or adjust to new information. This inflexibility can prevent growth and development, both emotionally and spiritually. When we are unwilling to change our beliefs or habits, we are stuck in a cycle that prevents us from moving forward.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun.