By Shayna Kaufmann
SAN DIEGO — Lara (pseudonym) spoke just a few sentences, but her words landed like a stone in still water.
We were gathered in the yurt—twelve midlife women, each carrying invisible stories, joys, and sorrows. Lara shared a tender belief about her lifelong feeling of unworthiness. No one interrupted. No one tried to fix, reframe, or challenge her belief. We simply listened with open hearts. In that silence, she softened with relief. We all did. (Especially those who shared Lara’s sense of unworthiness.)
Lara wasn’t asking for advice. She was simply speaking her truth. And in doing so, she reminded us of the freedom that comes with unburdening that which we keep buried.
This is far from a new concept. It’s as ancient as storytelling itself, central to therapy, the essence of deep friendship, and captured in the words, “The truth will set you free.” Yet, many of us forget its power.
There is something profoundly healing about putting our truth into words and having it witnessed. It doesn’t have to be a dark secret—it might be a feeling, a dream, or a small win. In midlife, when our roles and identities are shifting, speaking our truth becomes an act of reclamation.
And yet, so many of us keep our stories buried — out of fear of judgment, vulnerability, or the belief that saying it aloud will somehow make a challenge worse.
In my years as a psychologist and meditation teacher, I’ve seen again and again: when we speak what’s real, even in its raw or unfinished form, we begin to release its grip. Shame loosens. Confusion clears. Healing begins—not because someone solves it for us, but because we’re no longer holding it alone. And, our courage and authenticity can spark others to do the same.
Deep, present, nonjudgmental listening is one of the most sacred gifts we can offer. It says: I see you. I hear you. And I’m still here.
In a world that rushes to respond or fix, simply holding space is revolutionary. It goes against our instinct—but it’s often more healing than any well-intended advice.
Midlife is a time when we long to be more real, more connected, more alive. And yet, many of us carry untold stories and outdated beliefs. We’ve spent decades holding it all together—for families, careers, communities. But maybe what we need now is simply to be received in our most authentic selves.
Creating space to share—whether in a circle, a friendship, or with a healer—is how we stop pretending and start belonging.
This month, I invite you to practice the healing art of sharing and listening.
Let yourself be heard. Call a friend and share what’s on your heart—not the polished version, but the real one.
Or, offer the gift of deep listening. Resist the urge to fix. Just be with her. Let her know she’s not alone or crazy.
And notice what happens—to both of you.
If you’d like to explore this in community, join me for a Full Moon Event or a Day of Embracing the Middle. We’re not meant to walk this path alone. Our voices, stories, and presence are bridges—to each other, and to our truest selves.
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Shayna Kaufmann is an author, blogger, and freelance writer based in San Diego.