By Rabbi Baruch Ledeman
SAN DIEGO — Rivkah was the perfect wife for Yitzchok because she possessed chessed (loving kindness). Caring kindness and sensitivity to others, are hallmarks of the Jewish people as the following true story, documented in A Mother’s Favorte Stories by Sheina Medwed, illustrates:
Beth Shapiro was shopping with her elderly aunt, who was a widow with no children of her own. It was their way of spending the afternoon together. Out of the blue, every now and then she would tell Beth, “Today is a fun day. Let’s go out for ice cream!” And despite protests and warnings about cholesterol from her worried sister, Beth’s mother, Aunt Tzippi would take her by the hand and they were off.
That day, after the chocolate ice cream, Aunt Tzippi had announced, “I need to have my gold earrings fixed. Let’s go to the jeweler.”
As the jeweler explained what needed to be done to her earrings, Beth heard Aunt Tzippi ask, “Do you have anything especially for children?” He brought out a tray of rings. Beth felt a warm hand on her shoulder breaking her trance-like stare at the jewelry case. “Look, darling, do you see something you like? Aunt wants to buy you a present.”
Beth looked up at her in wide-eyed disbelief. “Mama won’t let me, Aunt Tzippi,” she whispered.
“It’s a present, darling, it’s okay.”
Beth’s hand was cold as she picked out a tiny amethyst heart centered on a gold ring. It fit her ring finger perfectly. Aunt Tzippi gave her a kiss and said, “A special girl like you deserves to have a special present from her aunt.”
When they arrived home, the ring was met with cries of “Oh, Tzippi, how could you get her something so expensive!” But Aunt Tzippi, with her typical fun-loving, spunky side, replied, “It gives me more pleasure to spend it on her now than after I’m dead! Besides, when I’m dead you’ll use the money for practical things and she’ll never have anything pretty.”
That night it was Beth’s turn to clean out their parakeet’s cage. She spread out newspaper and of course took off her precious new ring because she didn’t want to get it dirty. After she finished with the cage, she took everything out to the incinerator chute in the hallway. She returned and looked all over for the ring. She couldn’t find it anywhere. She felt a cold emptiness in her heart and her stomach knotted up. Her ring, her beautiful new ring was lost forever!
One glance at the stern look on her mother’s face and she burst out crying and ran to the bedroom she shared with her two older sisters. Within two minutes Beth’s sister Mindy came and quietly sat down next to her on her bed where she lay sobbing, her face buried in the pillow.
“Beth,” she began gently, “one day, G-d willing, I will buy you another ring. I can’t do it now, but when I get older and have more money, I will buy you a beautiful ring, as pretty as the one from Aunt Tzippi. But right now I want you to try to understand something: In our house, we don’t cry about things. Thank G-d, we have a wonderful family and there are so many people who love you. And we have Torah.
“Look, honey,” she said, reaching for a Book of Psalms, “you are learning to read so well. What does this say?”
Slowly she read in a whisper, “The Torah from Your mouth is better for me than thousands in gold and silver.”
Her sister looked deep into her eyes. “Even if you had a thousand rings like that, our Torah is much more precious. Aunt Tzippi loves you very much and she wanted to buy you a special present. Don’t worry, I’ll help you tell her the ring was lost. She might be upset, but you’ll apologize and she’ll get over it. But in our house, sweetheart, we never cry about things like rings.”
Her sister looked down at her with a smile and brushed her tear-damp hair away from her eyes. “Rings are things, and things are fine, but they won’t give you happiness. We have something better than gold: Torah!”
Beth hugged her sister in a wordless thank-you. Little did she know how profound and lasting an effect those words would have on her throughout her lifetime.
Dedicated by Avraham & Roz Dimenstein in memory of Rabbi Henry & Rebbetzin Esther Soille.
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Rabbi Lederman is spiritual leader of Congregation Kehilla Torah in San Diego