Back from hiatus, after second and third marriage

 

By Donald H. Harrison

SAN DIEGO – Dear readers, I return to editing and publishing San Diego Jewish World after a two-month hiatus during which I was married for a second and third time – to the same wonderful woman.

The first time was on February 24, 1968 in a Jewish ceremony at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Beverly Hills, California.  I don’t remember exact details about that ceremony, except for the fact that it was officiated by Rabbi Harry Essrig of University Synagogue.  I have photos of Nancy in her beautiful off-white wedding dress and of me, and my groomsmen, all dressed in powder blue tuxedoes.  The tuxedo color was Nancy’s choice, and presaging my success as a husband of 50 years standing, I went along with her preference, although I was somewhat skeptical.

The second time came just five days ago, aboard the MS Maasdam, a Holland America ship that brought us back to San Diego from Sydney, Australia, on a cruise of 39 days, with port calls not only in Australia but also in New Zealand, Tonga, French Polynesia, and Hawaii. I’ll be writing a weekly series about the people and places we met on that cruise.

On the evening of our 50^th wedding anniversary—February 24, 2018 – Nancy and I went up to the Crow’s Nest lounge of the MS Maasdam where Capt. Arno Jutten presided over a brief Renewal of Vows ceremony as the amiable Cruise Director Ryan Baird looked on.  Two sets of passengers witnessed the ceremony: Robert and Helaine Baum of San Diego, whom we have known for over 40 years, and Lawrence and Adrienne O’Hare of Tucson, Arizona. We met the O’Hares at the first Friday night Shabbat service on the ship on January 19, 2018, on the Pacific Ocean somewhere between Sydney and Melbourne, Australia.  Thanks to the generosity of the cruise line, that meeting and Shabbat were celebrated with kosher wine, fresh challah baked aboard the ship, and ship-made gefilte fish.

During the renewal of vows ceremony, Captain Jutten had Nancy and me recite the following vow:

“I come once again before you
To renew our vows of marriage.
I promise to be strong in my love,
Gentle in my care,
And unwavering in my trust.

“In the names of all that we have created together,
And all that we are yet to become,
I offer you my hand,
As your partner,
Lifetime friend,
and companion.”

Thereupon, the captain wished us “all the joy that only love can bring” and suggested that we seal our vows with a kiss – with which we promptly complied.

Following the ceremony, the O’Hares graciously hosted us and the Baums to a celebratory dinner at the Canaletto, one of the ship’s specialty restaurants.

Our third marriage came a day later here in San Diego, on Sunday, February 25^th, in the sanctuary of Tifereth Israel Synagogue in a ceremony, under a chuppah, officiated by Rabbi Joshua Dorsch.  Originally, we had thought that our renewal of vows would be a small affair to be held either in Rabbi Dorsch’s study or in the synagogue’s small chapel.  But as word spread, our guest list grew in unplanned fashion.  Some 80 people attended, friends and relatives from near and far.  If you are a friend or relative  and didn’t receive an invitation, my apologies.  It was unintentional.

Among them were Harry and Sherry Jacobson-Beyer of Louisville, Kentucky.  Harry is Nancy’s first cousin and was one of my groomsmen at our first wedding.  He and Sherry surprised us by wearing powder blue tuxedo jackets, similar to the ones we had worn at the first wedding.  They had special ordered them on the Amazon website.  Nancy’s brother, Carl, had been another groomsman, and he too joined us for our Renewal of Vows.

In our first marriage, Nancy and I also were attended by our parents, now deceased, Sam and Sydel Zeiden, and Martin and Alice Harrison.  In our third marriage, our children, Sandi Masori and David Harrison, escorted us down the aisle.

Rather than have us repeat vows, Rabbi Dorsch had Nancy and me write our own comments about each other – to be loosely based on traditional Jewish sources.  I chose “A Woman of Valor” in a light-hearted tribute to my wife, written in rhymes that invoked the names of our grandchildren Shor, Sky, Brian and Sara.

“She’s up early to take Sky to school;
She’s allergic to wool, doesn’t wear a jewel.

“Night and day, she helps people to cruise
Keeps TV on, to watch the news
Advises Shor of the don’t’s and do’s.

“Ask her grandchildren, she can cook
Uses her own recipes, not by the book
She can silence a conversation with a laser look.

“Brian and Sara live in Moraga;
They don’t know the whole Nancy saga,
Can’t imagine why all her friends go gaga. …”

Nancy, choosing the theme “Two Are Better than One” from Ecclesiastes, was far more sentimental; so sentimental, in fact, that her words brought tears to my eyes – as well as to those of my son David and others in the audience.

She said:

“You are my everything, my bashert, my lover, my best friend, my Pollyanna.

You always see the best in everything and everyone. So positive and ethical – gave our kids and grandkids the best values.

We make such a great couple – how we countered and complemented each other through our lives.

You creative and romantic and me practical.

A perfect team—one without the other would not work.

When I’m down, you’re up and pick me up and vice versa. …”

From the synagogue, we went to the special event room at Emiliano’s Restaurant, where our family and friends enjoyed a Mexican buffet luncheon, with choice of beer, wine, soda, coffee, or tea, and savored each other’s company.  I gave a speech briefly introducing each person in attendance, including nephew Edward Zeiden and fiancée Kristin Fitzmorris, who had recently become engaged, adding to the very romantic feelings inspired by the occasion!

Well, readers, I thank you for indulging me in this two-month hiatus from publication.  I feel refreshed, renewed, and still very much in love.

*
Harrison is editor and publisher of San Diego Jewish World.  He may be contacted via donald.harrison@sdjewishworld.com