The Pol-cars (Political Oscars) for 2017
By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — Best Picture: Barack Obama’s Presidential Portrait
Most Despicable Actor: Wayne LaPierre
Worst Deporting Actor: Donald Trump
Hewing to Oscar rules, “Fail to the Chief” will play to end his acceptance speech if it is too long.
Best Actress: Melania Trump for her role in “I Was a Prisoner of the White House”
Worst Deporting Actress: Ann Coulter
Best Director: Vladimir Putin
Best Animated Puppet: Devin Nunes
Best Incriminating Pornographer: Stormy Daniels
Note: If the Kremlin film “Singing in the Golden Rain” is not released first.
Best Script Based on Redacted Materials: The House Intelligence Committee Democratic Memo
Best Original Script: Stoneman-Douglas Student Interviews
Best Singing: Tie among Michael Flynn, George Papadopoulos, and Rick Gates
Best Foreign Language Leader: Angela Merkel
Worst Commercial Success: American Tariffs on Steel and Aluminum
Best Achievement in Criminology: Robert Mueller
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.