By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO−To counteract bad publicity for calling the police to arrest two African American customers, Starbucks will close its stores for one day of racial sensitivity training for its staff and discontinue its Blond roast line of coffee.
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For the first time in its history, the Senate allowed one of its members to bring her baby into the chamber during a session. The decision was based on the precedent of permitting an immature tantrum thrower to occupy the Oval Office.
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John Boehner has joined the advisory board of a cannabis investment firm and has changed his name to John Bonger.
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After Nikki Haley announced a new round of sanctions to punish Russia for condoning use of chemical weapons by denying it, chief economic advisor Larry Kudlow claimed she had been confused. Haley retorted, “”With all due respect, I don’t get confused” prompting Donald Trump to tweet, “What Larry meant was that Nikki was covfefed!”
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Rudy Giuliani has joined President Trump’s legal team for the Russia investigation and predicted he can persuade Special Counsel Robert Mueller to conclude the inquiry in two weeks. You can bank on it! After all, remember how successful Rudy was at running for president in 2008, discrediting Barack Obama at the Republican Convention that year, getting Trump to appoint him Attorney General, and advising Trump on the Muslim ban.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally