By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO−President Donald Trump cancelled his upcoming summit with North Korea in reaction to the “tremendous anger and open hostility” it displayed in a recent statement. Of course, President Trump has never done this in his tweets or public pronouncements. Within an hour, Trump was nominated for a Nobel Cease Prize.
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Could it be true? The President of the United States infiltrated the ranks of his political enemies with a spy to gather evidence to justify opening a divisive criminal investigation against them. Alas, it is! The name of the spy is Devin Nunes.
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President Trump has dubbed the FBI planting a mole in his campaign “Spy Gate.” The Democrats should brand his scandals with similar catchy “Gate” names. Daughter Gate: hiring Ivanka and Jared to be top level advisers; Hate Gate: stoking bigotry against immigrants and Muslims; Kickback Gate, so much easier to remember than the word emoluments; Mandate Gate, claiming he won big when losing the popular vote by 3,000,000 votes; Mate Gate: paying hush money to silence women other than Melania with whom he’s had sex; Slaughter Gate: reneging on promises of gun regulation reform in deference to the NRA; Water Gate, appointing Scott Pruitt to head the EPA.
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The National Football League has promulgated a new policy to fine players for kneeling during the playing of the Star Spangled Banner. That leaves room for them to stand up during the national anthem and hold up a clenched fist or a “Black Lives Matter” sign.
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It has been disclosed that an Amazon Echo has been recording a couple’s private conversations. It turns out both of them were having affairs with an omniscient woman named Siri.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally