By Joel H. Cohen
NEW YORK — A company has been formed to help Jewish mourners properly observe the requirements of their first-week mourning period.
Called Queen of Shiva, the firm offers to handle some of the details of observance required of those who have suffered the loss of a loved one.
The firm’s founder, who asked to be identified just by her first name, Eve, said: “Sadly, we all face having to sit shiva in our lives, and the requirements– on top of the shock of the loss — are often daunting, or are accidentally overlooked. Our company will do what it can to ease the discomfort.”
So, among its services, Queen of Shiva will prepare the kosher dairy consolation meal (lox is optional, at a higher cost)… cover mirrors…make calls giving times of minyans and urging visitors to attend the prayer session so mourners can say Kaddish…and bring prayer books chosen by the mourners (with transliterations if required).
Another important part of the company’s service is providing low seats for the mourners. These, said Eve, can range from hard, reinforced cardboard, to the old uncomfortable standby favored by traditionalists, wood and metal milk cases. Her staff will also send out thank-you cards to those who made condolence visits during the shiva period.
The company will attend to such details as obtaining ribbons to be cut as a sign of mourning (unless the mourners are having the cut made directly on clothing)…put a water basin and towel at the entrance to the home for people returning from the funeral…obtain the requisite large memorial candle…bring in extra folding chairs for guests.
Perhaps the most important part of her service, Eve commented, was lighting. “In years of attending –unfortunately — countless shivas, I found that the living rooms or other area in which prayers were said – my own included — were lighted so poorly, participants could hardly see the words in the prayer books. Accordingly, we bring in a battery of lights, so bright, they could illuminates at TV set.”
The Queen of Shiva, as Eve likes to be called, comforts the mourners, and urges that their shiva period last the full, traditional seven days. “Although shiva is the Hebrew word for seven, and is the number of days specified, many Jews today observe the period for only fewer days. I try to encourage respect for the tradition.”
In many instances, especially where siblings live far apart geographically and split the shiva period between their respective homes, the Queen of Shiva organization will provide the same service in both locations.
The hope is that the service, now being tested in just a a few cities, will eventually be available nationwide.
Her company is the outgrowth of Eve’s voluntary assistance with the shivas of a great many friends and relatives over the years. She apparently did it so well that a cousin suggested she make a business of it.
That it is a business is the cause of some expressions of opposition to the Queen of Shiva concept, halachic and secular. Primarily the objection raised is what critics commented was commercializing a sacred ritual. But Eve says, “It’s quite the opposite. We’re just trying to take some of the burden away from the mourning family, and by doing it, we’re only enhancing the tradition.”
Among suggested slogans that Eve had considered for her firm, and rejected, was one from a Washington tweeter: “Let’s make shiva great again.”
“I’m not in this to boast, but to help,” Eve said.
“May you not need our services till at least 120!”
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Readers who are new to freelance writer Joel Cohen’s “Just Kidding” columns are advised that they are satirical and should not be taken seriously.