By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO−White House insiders report that Donald Trump is obsessed with the prospect of sending political messages to people indicted or investigated by Robert Mueller by granting pardons to them. Here’s his list of deceased and living candidates for pardons and his rationales for pardoning them.
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Julius Rosenberg: “Wouldn’t it be nice if we actually got along with Russia?”
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Michael Cohen: “Barack Obama had Eric Holder, JFK had RFK. Where is my Roy Cohn? Where is this person to protect me?”
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Bernie Madoff: “People may not always think big themselves, but they can still get very excited by those who do. That’s why a little hyperbole never hurts. People want to believe that something is the biggest and the greatest and the most spectacular.”
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Richard Nixon: “I have absolute right to do what I want to do with the Justice Department.” Yes, I know President Ford pardoned Nixon. I just want to remind Jeff Sessions, Rod Rosenstein, Robert Mueller, and those 13 angry Democrats who is the boss.
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Women Convicted of Practicing Witchcraft in Colonial Salem: “FAKE NEWS – A TOTAL POLITICAL WITCH HUNT!”
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally