By Donald H. Harrison
SAN DIEGO – You may not have heard of “Camp Greber,” but the woman who ran it—Marilyn Greber of Carlsbad—was a major influence on the lives of her grandchildren who flew from homes in Connecticut to experience the warmth of the California sun and of her sometimes “spunky” and “firecracker” personality.
On Tuesday, July 31, some of those grandchildren, along with Greber’s brother, Harris Gottlieb, and daughters, Laurie Rada and Shari Ifrach, gathered at El Camino Memorial Park to lay her to rest alongside her husband Gerry, who had died in 2013. Rabbi Ralph Dalin, the community chaplain affiliated with the Jewish Federation of San Diego, officiated at the graveside service in which Dalin and various family members painted a loving portrait of Marilyn, who died July 28, a week shy of her 83rd birthday.
Rabbi Dalin noted that Marilyn was born August 3, 1935 in Springfield, Illinois, and that she had spent a childhood living many places in the Midwest, including Ypsilante, Michigan. “She always helped out in her father’s deli, where she met Gerry,” a food chemist who in later years was a volunteer columnist for San Diego Jewish Press-Heritage and more recently for San Diego Jewish World. Marilyn joined Gerry in New York, where they were married in 1954. “She hated New York so much that they moved back to Chicago, where she had Steven, of blessed memory. Then she moved back to New York where Shari was born, and then finally landed in Decatur (Illinois) where Laurie joined the family. “
Gerry Greber landed a job with General Foods, which brought the family back to Chicago, where Marilyn was quite happy. But then, oh oh, he got a promotion and they had to move back east again. Marilyn wasn’t keen on the move, but after they found a home in Westport, Connecticut, she was happy. “When Gerry finally retired, they joined her family here in California,” Dalin said. “She loved being here with her parents and family. She did things she loved, like cruising, going to the movies, concerts, and synagogue with her friends, and visiting her grandchildren…”
Her daughter, Laurie Rada, commented that her mother “was always there for me, even if I didn’t always understand where she was coming from. … She was a firecracker and a fighter … In talking with her friends, it is clear how much people adored her, and in her direct, spunky way, she often said with conviction, ‘You either love me or hate me.’”
Rada said her mother was a “giver” who taught English as a Second Language, volunteered at the MS (Multiple Sclerosis) Society, solicited gift donations for holiday gifts.” In the Jewish community, Marilyn was particularly active in Women’s ORT, the Organization for Rehabilitation and Training.
“She shaped me to be the person I am today, although that was some process to go through, trust me,” Rada said. “The last few months (while Marilyn was fighting cancer) were difficult but she always kept her great face and a focused eye. Unfortunately, her body was unable to follow in the direction where her eyes were headed.”
David Rada, a son of Laurie’s, said about his grandmother: “Even in her advanced age, she never lost her wit, her humor, and definitely her sass.”
He recalled that the “grandchildren would go out every summer to Camp Greber,” his name for Marilyn’s and Gerry’s home in Carlsbad, and “we would collect snails and lizards, go to amusement parks and visit grandpa at the (Birch) Aquarium and the Museum of Making Music,” where he served as a volunteer docent. “I was fortunate enough to remain in contact with Grandma throughout my entire life. Grandma always wanted to know what was going on in my life, always wanted my opinion, and I was glad to talk with her. … She indulged my wacky political views, especially after going to college, and never made me feel stupid about them. We would debate politics and politicians and the day’s news, even the legalization of marijuana, which we didn’t agree on. One thing we did agree on was our very strong opinions on a certain orange man.” – a sly reference to President Donald J. Trump.
Laurie’s daughter, Judi Civins, said Marilyn “loved us all, and we’ll miss her very much. There are so many memories of Camp Greber, I wish the kids (she has two Evelyn and Jacob, who are Marilyn’s great-grandchildren) were able to come out and experience it.”
Other grandchildren, who could not be present, wrote out memories of Marilyn, which Rabbi Dalin read as other members of the family recorded the ceremony on cell phones, to be played back later via Internet connection.
Granddaughter Yasmin, the daughter of Shari Ifrach, recalled a time when she was about seven years old, and enjoyed making a rude sound with her lips and tongue, commonly known as a “raspberry.” Marilyn looked at her and said, “That is not very lady like,” a reproof that did not deter young Yasmin. “Just to be annoying, I continued, and she gave one back, and I responded ‘That’s not very lady like’ and it made us laugh very hard.” Yasmin said she had spoken to her grandmother three weeks ago, planning to visit her on July 28th, which ironically was the very day Marilyn died. “She said, ‘I am doing fine and I am proud of you.’ It’s crazy how fast things can change.” Yasmin described her grandmother as a “beautiful person who impacted all our lives in the best possible way.”
A message from granddaughter Anot, who is Yasmin’s sister, said: “I loved being able to swim in your pool, and your kicking my butt every time I suggested a treading contest. I’m so happy that my summer between my senior year of high school and my freshman year of college, I got to come out and visit you and grandpa. That was one of the best summers I ever had. I loved that you pushed me to go to Six Flags, even though I didn’t really want to. I had the best time ever and the funniest part of the trip was that you actually called me on the cell phone the next day – I think it was 1 p.m. before I woke up – and asked me if I was ever getting out of bed. If I remember, I said ‘yes,’ and then fell back asleep. Then you called again, and that is when I did wake up.”
Anot said Grandma Marilyn introduced her to manicures and pedicures, and “next time I get a manicure, it will be in a dark red color in memory of you. Thank you for taking me and Eliran (her brother) to Souplantation and telling us that we shouldn’t take more than we can eat, and yelling at us when we made fun of a girl who took a whole bowl of ice cream and ate only one bite. By the way, I don’t follow your rule of cutting up my lettuce to make sure that it will fit in my mouth; it’s just too much fun to try to get it all in.”
She added that her grandmother did not believe in lingering over bad news. After Anot’s paternal grandfather died, Marilyn found Anot crying on her bed. Marilyn “picked up my clothes off the floor and started to fold them. I started to laugh and it made me feel better.” Anaot noted that she continued to work after she received the news of Marilyn’s death, explaining that her grandmother would not want her to mope around, “she would want me to continue to be the best person I could.”
Grandson Eliran messaged that he and Marilyn “didn’t always see eye to eye in our talks, and as far back as I can remember, grandma and I always butted heads. I get my stubbornness from her and she knew it. She thought I was barbaric for drinking out of a root beer bottle, and she hated the way I shoveled food. Thanks to her kvetching, I can use a knife and fork European style and be ambidextrous too…”
Eliran said Marilyn and his wife Emily enjoyed a particularly close relationship, with Marilyn speaking to Emily on the telephone “almost, if not longer, than she spoke with me…. They spoke about their love of Yiddish and art therapy, family life, and all their plans for the future. I would overhear them talking about how much I’ve changed over the years. She was proud of me and thankful to Emily for making me a better person.”
The final family member to deliver a eulogy was Marilyn’s brother Harris, who noted that “we were of two different generations. We didn’t see each other a lot. We talked, but we didn’t have many things we agreed on. I was a hippie, lived up in the Northwest. I was the wild child, and she was always the straight one.”
Approximately in 1960, when he was single and living in Los Angeles, he decided to drive to Chicago. “I didn’t have a beard then, but I hadn’t shaved in a few days, and I got in my car and had my cowboy hat, and drove straight through,” except for a stop for sleep. “I got there, knocked on the door, and she opened the door, and said, ‘Yes, can I help you?’ I said, ‘I am your brother and I am here to live with you.’ That worked out pretty well, except that it was in the attic and it was very hot in Chicago. Even though we hadn’t spent a lot of time together, because she left home when I was still very young, I really loved her. … I will really miss her.”
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Harrison is editor of San Diego Jewish World. He may be contacted via donald.harrison@sdjewishworld.com San Diego Jewish World’s eulogy series is sponsored by Inland Industries Group LP in memory of long-time San Diego Jewish community leader Marie (Mrs. Gabriel) Berg.