By Joel H. Cohen
NEW YORK — President Trump, who is celebrated (at least by himself) as an extraordinary deal-maker, apparently learned the art when he served as a Shabbos Goy as a youngster in Queens, N.Y.
That previously unknown fact was just revealed by writer Tess Terone, who is researching a book on Trump’s early years
A Shabbos Goy is a non-Jew who performs on the Sabbath ftasks that religious law prohibits the Jew from doing. These include such chores as turning on and off a light switch, adjusting a thermostat or carrying something outside one’s home.
(According to some religious opinion, Jews are not allowed to instruct someone to do tasks they are not permitted to do themselves on the Sabbath. But the Shabbos goy concept is generally accepted.)
Trump came to his early calling when he was 9 or 10- years old, and was approached by a boy about his age, wearing a yarmulka, who asked him, “Are you Jewish?”
“No,” Trump replied, adding in a tone he’d heard a movie character respond: “You got a problem with that?”
“Nope,” the other boy replied. “It could get you a job.”
It did. Trump was hired by the boy’s family to do a few of the minor tasks they were prohibited from doing on the Sabbath. After sundown on a given Saturday, he was usually paid one dollar for his services.
Trump displayed entrepreneurial gifts early, doing more than he was asked and attempting to dazzle his clients – sometimes literally, lighting whole fixtures, when the client wanted only one of two lights illuminated.
He expanded the services he offered to include weekday shopping for Jewish seniors, always managing to include some items for himself in the shopping list paid for by the client. When he got a generous tip, he’d say: “I’ve always loved the Jews.”
To promote his operation, he distributed flyers featuring the legend, “Hire this boy as your Shabbos Goy,” along with a picture of a sincere, innocent lad (himself), and made-up testimonials he attributed to fictional neighbors (“This Shabbos goy is a tremendous joy.”)
Then it occurred to him that the Shabbos-Goy industry could be profitable for him if others did the work. So he campaigned for recruits and his advertising campaign worked. His client list grew and he enlisted a group of youngsters, including a few girls, to do the job for, say, a dollar, and then give young Trump half as commission. To sweeten the deal, in homes where the Jewish family gave the Shabbos Goy candy or cake, he’d let the kids keep it. “I was already a great philanthropist,” he told Ms Terone.
Before long, he had a large network of youngsters working for him.
In addition to his commission, he also charged his workers a five-dollar initiation fee that he promised to pay back over time, but usually forgot or ignored his pledge.
“Everybody wanted to be on my team” he boasted, “Everybody loved me.” Not quite. Some of his “employees” resented his tactics, and Trump gave insulting nicknames to anyone who quit, balked or resisted his plans — Four Eyes, Gimpy, Blubber, Mama’s Boy, Ugly Billy, Dopey Dennis, Nutty Ned.
But he was ecstatic recalling his Shabbos-goy duties, “I made Shabbos Goys great again. I was a fantastic Goy.”
The author reminded him that his youthful occupation put Trump in good company. Other celebrities who had helped their Jewish neighbors as Shabbos goys include Gen. Colin Powell, late N.Y.. governor Mario Cuomo, film director Martin Scorsese, Jay Leno, Harry S. Truman, Elvis Presley, and maybe even Michail Gorbachev.
Trump responded: “Many, many people say these guys were never as good as I was. I was incredibly great. I could run rings around them. Ask anybody: I’m a better Shabbos Goy than any of them – any day of the week!”
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Readers who are new to freelance writer Joel Cohen’s “Just Kidding” columns are advised that they are satirical and should not be taken seriously