By Rabbi Leonard Rosenthal
SAN DIEGO — When I lived in Orange County, California, I was the director of a small Jewish Day School. I was responsible for the administrative, as well as educational aspects of the school. Shortly after I arrived, a vendor contacted me and in making his sales pitch, tried to impress me with his Jewish background and knowledge. I was impressed and signed a contract with him.
When the contract came up for renewal two years later I decided to do some research before I committed. To my horror I found out that the school had been criminally overcharged. When the vendor followed up with me I told him that we decided that we no longer wished to do business with him, that he had not treated us fairly. He began to scream: “That’s why so many people hate Jews! It’s people like you who cause anti-Semitism in the world!” He hung up beforeI could ask him if he wanted to make a donation to the school.
As Jacob returned to Canaan, after living in Padam Aram for many years, he obsessed about his upcoming reunion with his brother,Esau. He worried that Esau had spent all of the intervening years plotting against him. Surely, Esau would want revenge for all that Jacob had done to him.
Jacob prayed to God for protection: “Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau.” (Gen. 32:12)
The commentary Toldot Ya’akov Yosef explains Jacob’s prayer by sharing a midrash: After iron was created and forged into an axe head, all of the trees of the forest trembled in fear. They knew that once the axe entered the forest their days were numbered.
The oldest and wisest tree of the forest tried to calm them down: “Don’t worry so much. The axe head on its own is powerless. It can only hurt us if one of us helps it by becoming its handle!”
This is the anguish of Jacob, says Toldot Ya’akov Yosef. If he only had to worry about “Esau” it would have been bad enough, but the fact that Esau was “his brother” multiplied his pain exponentially. We expect more from our family.
In my dealings with my landsman vendor I identified with Jacob. It was bad enough that he had cheated me. However, that a Jewish educational institution was cheated by a person who flaunted his Jewish heritage made my blood boil.
We like to think that all Jews are caring, honest, and nice. We like to think that their background and heritage make them this way. Unfortunately, this is far from the truth. Jews are like all other human beings with the same shortcomings and foibles.
Nevertheless, I believe we still expect our fellow Jews, our brothers and sisters, to treat us fairly. When they do not live up to our expectations, we are doubly pained, the same way we are pained when members of our own families mistreat us. We expect more from them.
But is it really right? When it comes to honesty and ethics, our goal should be to live up to the highest standard possible, regardless of the religion, ethnicity, or skin color or those with whom we are dealing.
*
Rabb Rosenthal is spiritual leader of Tifereth Israel Synagogue in San Diego