Donald Trump Recites Kol Nidre for Ivanka and Jared
By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO–All campaign vows I made except those blocked by the deep state and Dems will be fulfilled by Executive Decrees.
Collusion, obstruction of justice, and perjury committed before this Yom Kippur will be forgiven and unindicted by next Yom Kippur after the Red Wave and the Supreme Court grants me authority like that exercised by Adonai. They are excused under a statute of my mental limitations. They will be cancelled, null and void, without power, and without standing.
Anything incriminating that my lawyers and I say in interviews and Tweets about these matters shall not be valid grounds for prosecution and impeachment. My inhibitions are non-existent.
And my pronouncements shall be regarded as alternative facts.
Pardon the iniquities of my associates, according to my abundant self-protection, just as Thou forgave the Access Hollywood videotape.
PS: Ditto for Judge Kavanaugh and my kids.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.