By Joel H. Cohen
NEW YORK — President Trump’s trade battle with China could have unintended benefits for kosher delicatessens in the United States.
White House sources, knowledgeable about his thinking in the controversy, report that the president is considering levying duties on treyf products used in Chinese restaurants.
Were they imposed, these restaurants would undoubtedly raise their prices accordingly, which would n discourage many people from patronizing them frequently, and possibly avoid them altogether.
They’d be most vulnerable, one source speculated, on holiday evenings when many traditional eating establishments are closed.
Kosher Chinese restaurants would not be affected.
Asked about the reports, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, “I don’t want to get ahead of myself on this. I haven’t had a chance to discuss the subject with the President. Remember, we were busy elevating a great, conservative judge to the Supreme Court.”
When a reporter pressed for further comment, Sanders said: “President Trump has always been a great friend of the Jews – as we all know, he’s moving the U.S. embassy to Jerusalem – and anything he can do to improve Jewish life, he’s delighted to do.”
When a network correspondent asked about possible impact on jobs, should Chinese restaurants be forced out of business and staff fired, Sanders said, “The president is way ahead of you on this. He’s planning workshops to teach Chinese waiters Yiddish and English, and courses will even include Yiddish insults, to give the waiters credibility. This will make them eminently hireable by the delis.
“If they’re undocumented, of course, they’re out of here.”
There were reports that, to launch his tax program (if legal experts give the go-ahead), the president will celebrate by making pastrami a feature of White House meals.” His son-in-law, Jared Kushner, was said to be urging him to make the pastrami kosher and served on rye bread, rather than white, as the president was planning.
Appearing on a network Sunday talk show, presidential adviser Kellyanne Conway declared, “Previous chief executives have never cared about Jewish delis.” When a correspondent pointed out that previous presidents had not engaged in a trade war with China, Conway launched into a diatribe about “Hillary Clinton’s emails.” She talked non-stop, and was quietly but firmly ushered off the show.
The reported high taxes on competitors has given delicatessens reason to cheer. Max Knishman, president of a consortium of kosher delis, commented: “If the president’s plan goes through, I’m adding an extra matzah ball in every bowl of chicken soup, at no extra charge.”
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Readers who are new to freelance writer Joel Cohen’s “Just Kidding” columns are advised that they are satirical and should not be taken seriously