By Janet S. Tiger (c) 2018
(Woman enters, she is nicely dressed, slight European accent, has an older skirt in her hands that she is holding)
My family always wanted me to talk about what happened to me during WWII – but, after I did the interview for Shoah, I did not want to talk anymore.
What’s in the past, is in the past.
But, then, what happened on Saturday, in Pittsburgh, on the Sabbath…in a synagogue!…(sighs heavily) it brings it all back.
And today, today is Halloween. What everyone says is…. about scary.
I can tell you about scary.
Scraps from the table….to me that always is scary.
You see this….
(She holds up the skirt)
Inside is a hidden pocket. My father was a tailor – what he taught me about sewing helped me survive.
You see this – even when you look for it, it appears as if it’s just part of the seam. But inside, you can put things.
I worked in the kitchen in a camp, not a camp whose name you would recognize. Not Auschwitz or Dacchau…no, I was in one of the thousands** of camps throughout Europe. Some were huge, like Bergen Belsen, others, only a few hundred poor souls. Ours had about 15,000, by the end of the war, much less. We were near a factory, and our camp provided workers for the Nazis.
Because my mother was a good cook and she taught me well,I worked in the kitchen. These were very important jobs in the kitchen, we served the inmates, the soldiers and the commandant.
The hidden pocket allowed me to smuggle food to my sister and our friends in the barracks.
It was dangerous. You knew if you were caught, you were dead. But everyone did it because without food, you were also dead. A few hundred extra calories could give you the strength to keep going….but it was not only the extra calories…….it was the hope.
One day, it was a holiday of some sort, and the soldiers had been given beer, and they were very happy. They made a huge mess everywhere and they…(sighs) one of them comes into the kitchen, and he lights the garbage on fire. Now the garbage is where I hid the scraps, so when I took the garbage outside, I could hide the scraps with no one watching.
But when he lit the garbage on fire, they all laughed, the soldiers, the kapos, it was like watching hell. And there was no extra food that day. I never forgot that day.
(She sighs, holds the skirt to her face)
I’m all right, it’s just….remembering is difficult. (Sighs again, stands up straighter)
So, every day, I took the scraps that were to be discarded. Edges of bread and maybe a vegetable, and perhaps a very tiny chunk of meat. You can cut the eye off a potato and maybe you cut a little too much, so, into the seam it goes. To be shared with a few choice people.
But you cannot share with everyone. It is sad, but when divided, even the scraps disappear. One woman, we called her….Zizi, because she buzzed around everyone like a fly…..she suspected me of taking the scraps She came to me one day.
I denied that I was stealing, but I could see in her eyes she hated me. I was very careful after that, but it made me nervous. I considered sharing, but felt I could not trust her. If I told her the truth, what was to stop her from insisting she get all the scraps? Then my sister and friends would get nothing. How would that be good?
(She shivers, remembering the next)
One day, I returned to the barracks, and all the others had been lined up, waiting for me.
I knew this was not good. The chief Kapo, she was a very mean woman. She had killed her husband and was in jail at the beginning of the war, and she was known for her cruelty.
She closed the door of the barracks behind me.
(Very deep breath) They said they knew I was stealing and they were going to search me. My sister and friends had no idea what was happening and were not able to warn me.
They had me strip naked, and they searched me in front of everyone. It was horrible!
They looked inside of me! As if I would hide the food in those places! (Trying not to cry)
And then they took apart my clothing.
My heart felt like it was going to explode! You talk about scary! That was one of the most frightening moments in my whole life!
(Her shoulders relax)
But they did not find the hidden pocket….it was well hidden! Thank you papa! And they did not find any food…… because that was the day the soldiers burned the garbage!
The Kapo looked at Zizi….and Zizi tried to run away, but the others held her, and the Kapo took her and beat her to death.
The commandant heard about what happened, and I received a better job because they really trusted me now…….how strange is fate!
It was now easier to get more scraps, and although a greater risk, I no longer had to sneak them myself, others could do it, and so more of us were able to get that few extra calories, and the dash of hope that seasoned them……..
Every night I was afraid, but the war was almost over and there was so little food left and the Nazis did not seem to be as concerned. And then one day, we woke up and there was no food at all.
And there were no Nazis, no kapos, no guards, they had left the camp afraid of the approaching soldiers who freed us that day.
Some of the soldiers wanted to give chocolate to the prisoners but I stopped them. My brother had been a doctor and had shared his books with me…..I knew from what I had read, that eating such rich food on such empty stomach could be very bad.
Because of that none of the survivors in our camp died because they got too much too soon….. When I heard about other camps where that happened….. I remember crying ……thinking what must have felt like to die from finally getting food!
(Clears her throat)
I have very good life now – I live here in this amazing country that took me in after the war. The United States has such bounty I never cease to be amazed at what we throw away.
When my children were young, and we would cook together in the kitchen, it was very hard not to save the scraps.
I would look at each piece of potato or onion -even the drips of juice that I have made that I would rinse away in the sink.
And I would think -how many people would this have saved?
How many died because there was no food and all of this is thrown away?
My children saw how I was with the food and when my son and daughter grew up they became important people my daughter became a doctor to honor my brother, and my son is an accountant. I am very proud of them, but when I visited them, and cooked for them, they saw how I hated to throw away the scraps!
And when they started to make a little money they bought us a house and I had a garden and they told me about a wonderful invention -a mulch pile!
I had grown up in the city and so I had no idea that all of the scraps that I wanted to save could be saved to grow other food!
I remember the first time I brought the scraps to the garden…. and I put them into the mulch pile and I said a prayer for all those who would have lived from my scraps. And suddenly, it was not so scary. The scraps were no longer being wasted!
So when you make your food today, this scary Halloween day, please think about those who are without scraps of food, and maybe, instead of scare….we can share.
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END NOTES
From too many true stories, put together in my heart to honor those who can no longer tell them
**About the number of camps – from here
However, researchers found that the Nazis actually established about 42,500 camps and ghettos between 1933 and 1945. This figure includes 30,000 slave labor camps; 1,150 Jewish ghettos, 980 concentration camps; 1,000 POW camps; 500 brothels filled with sex slaves; and thousands of other camps used for euthanizing the elderly and infirm; “Germanizing” prisoners or transporting victims to killing centers. Berlin alone had nearly 3,000 camps.
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Tiger is a playwright residing in San Diego. She may be contacted via tigerteam1@gmail.com