By Gary Rotto
SAN DIEGO – I enjoy cooking. And I enjoy having friends and family over for occasions big and small. Thanksgiving is a pretty big occasion. Especially this year as my folks are giving up their place and moving to Seacrest in a few months. Since I’m in charge of the turkey, Thinking that this Thanksgiving dinner would be just be my parents, my daughter and me, I suggested last week that we pick up a turkey while there was still a good selection. While eleven pounds seemed like a lot for four people, it was the smallest that my folks could find. They told me that most were 12-13 pounds. Ok, so I prepared myself for lots of turkey sandwiches over the next few weeks. But I checked in with friends Tom and Aimee, and sure enough, they didn’t have a place to go. Then I realized that my friend Kate, who is here from the Ukraine, hasn’t experienced an American Thanksgiving. And then, before I knew it, the dinner party had grown to nine.
Since the rule of thumb is two pounds person, I set off on Monday night to Trader Joe’s in La Jolla to find an 18 pound kosher turkey. I thought that this should not be too much of a problem four days in advance of the holiday – but little did I know what I was in store for. Or should I say what was not in the store. After going through all 30 bowling balls at the Trader Joe’s, the largest I could find was a 13.88 pound bird. I asked the staff about the turkeys and was told that they seemed to be all 12-13 pounds, maybe 13-1/2 this year. But the staffer was able to find a 14.5 pound turkey in the back room. Since the “Kosher” Ralphs is just next door, I figured that I would pass on this smallish bird and swing through the traditional supermarket.
But at Ralphs, all the traditional turkeys were gone. Only the boneless breasts remained. This wasn’t what I had in mind. So back to Trader Joe’s. I politely imposed on the manager to call the other locations. And in a most joyful holiday mood, he gladly indulged my request. But no big kosher bird was to be found in Scripps or Hillcrest, only the standard 12-13 pound fowls. What is with these scrawny turkeys? I know that they are “vegetarian fed” (which seems so ironic, like the farm is sending a message for us to have Tofu-key this year), but I would think that still there would be some larger birds out there. Certainly there are plenty of non-kosher “big boys” for sale. So are the kosher ones bred to be smaller? Do we not have as big appetites as the non-kosher eaters? Are our people that much smaller?
I don’t know the answers, but I am concerned. Is it inbred neurosis or fear of Martha Stewart taking me to task in a nightmare for being a lousy host and running out of the main dish? I don’t know, but I do know that I didn’t move fast enough and someone else picked up the 14.5 pounder. So going through the turkeys once again, one by one, I found my bird: 13.88 to be exact. Now, as the dinner approaches this Thursday evening, I’m hopeful that the turkey will be enough for all of us. But I’ll also overcompensate with side dishes and hope that no one notices. And just to be sure, I picked up a Cornish hen, which could end up being the leftover.
Here’s wishing you and yours a very Happy Thanksgiving and I hope that your table is overflowing with food … and enough turkey for the Black Friday sandwiches at lunch.
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Rotto is a freelance writer in San Diego