Humoring the headlines: April 3, 2019

Questions

By Laurie Baron

Lawrence Baron. expert on Holocaust films

SAN DIEGO−If Joe Biden kissing a woman on the back of her head and smelling her hair disqualifies him from running for president, then why did Trump bragging about grabbing women’s genitals on the Access Hollywood tape not result in the postponement of the 2016 election until he was replaced by a less egregious sexist as the Republican candidate for president?

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Might it not be more diplomatically and economically practical to lock President Trump in the  White House and confiscate his smartphone and television than closing the border with Mexico to end the national emergency on the Southern border?

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I don’t know how extensive the redactions to the Mueller Report will be, but don’t you find it ominous that William Barr reportedly has been listening to the Rolling Stones’ “Paint it Black” while preparing the document for its release?

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Despite bringing no bathing suit and carrying a laptop, 4 cell phones, an external hard drive, and a thumb drive infected with malware, a Chinese woman gained entrance to Mar-a-Lago claiming she wanted to use the pool.  What ever happened to the old fashioned way of keeping security threats away from the President by charging a $200,000 initiation fee to become a member?

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To impress NATO chief Jens Stoltenberg about his commitment to Germany, President Trump erroneously claimed his father had been born there.  Why did the White House bleep out his subsequent comment that many Germans who supported Hitler had been fine people?

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.