Humoring the headlines: May 31, 2019

Summer Blockbusters

By Laurie Baron

Lawrence Baron

SAN DIEGO−Now that Memorial Day has passed, it’s time to preview the films that promise to be the biggest hits of the summer.

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The Revengers: Payback:  Supervillains conspire to destroy the reputation of Muellos, a mute hero who has documented their crimes and cover-ups.  Led by Captain America is Great Again and abetted by the reincarnation of Roy Cohn whose alias is Yes Man, the Revengers plan to bury the Muellos Report that had been commissioned by the witch Pillory and her minions.

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Men in Black Face:  Virginia politicians try to identify male leaders who have never blackened their face, engaged in racial slurs, flown the Confederate flag, molested women, or posed alongside a KKK member.

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Rocketman:  A brutal dictator who enjoys developing nuclear weapons, interning dissidents, killing relatives, and testing missiles falls in love with another demagogue who aspires to have similar powers in his country.  Can their relationship remain a foreign affair?

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Aladdin: In this live action version of the beloved Disney cartoon, Aladdin rubs the magic lamp and summons a blue genie who offers to grant him three wishes.  Aladdin’s first wish is to fly to the United States on a magic carpet.  When he lands at JFK, he is denied entry and deported by the TSA because he is coming from a Muslim majority country and the genie is a person of color

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Impeachment:  This film is still in production.  It may not be released this summer due to its obscene content.  The censor-in-chief has asserted, “To me it’s a dirty word, the word impeach.  It’s a dirty, filthy, disgusting word.” Until then, audiences will have to read the book to ascertain how obscene the film might be.  (See Article I, Sections 2 and 3, and Clauses 5 and 6 of the United States Constitution).

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.