Debates Updates
By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO−On the first night, Beto O’Rourke, Julián Castro, and Cory Booker briefly spoke in Spanish to woo Latino voters. On the second night, moderator José Díaz-Balart posed his question to Pete Buttigieg in Spanish who replied in kind. This threw Pete off his initial plan to answer one question in Norwegian to encourage Norway to offer him oppo research on his rivals and another in Maltese to pander to Maltese voters and flaunt his immigrant roots.
*
Elizabeth Warren outlined her Wealth Tax proposal and reiterated her commitment to get money out of politics. After the debate, she demanded that her opponents list all their financial assets.
*
During these exercises in political intercourse, Bill de Blasio and Kirsten Gillibrand exhibited symptoms of debatus interruptus.
*
Kamala Harris chided Joe Biden for opposing busing to rectify de facto segregation and revealed that she was one of the black students bussed in Berkeley. Dumbfounded by her audacity, he responded, “Although I never was bussed, I always ride on Amtrak to Washington.”
*
Eric Swalwell urged Joe Biden to follow his advice from his 1987 campaign and “pass the torch to a new generation of Americans.” Both Biden and Bernie Sanders quietly muttered, “Impudent whippersnapper!”
*
In her final statement, Marianne Williamson said, “So, Mr. President — if you’re listening — I want you to hear me please: You have harnessed fear for political purposes and only love can cast that out. I’m going to harness love for political purposes. I will meet you on that field, and sir, love will win.” Interviewed afterwards, she proposed that the 2020 Democratic Convention be relocated from Milwaukee to Woodstock.
*
Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.