Commander-in-Chief Weatherman
SAN DIEGO−“Climate change is a hoax invented by the Chinese.” Why doesn’t the President impose a tariff on China on exports of droughts, forest fires, hurricanes, hot weather, melting glaciers, pollution, rising sea levels, and torrential rains to the USA?
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(On death toll in Puerto Rico from Hurricane Maria): “If you look at a real catastrophe like Katrina, and you look at the hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people that died, and you look at what happened here that’s really a storm that was just totally overpowering, nobody’s ever seen anything like this — and what is your death count as of this moment? 70? 16 people, certified. 16 people versus in the thousands. … You can be very proud of what’s taken place.” He was only off by 3,051 people, 1,150 more than in a real catastrophe like Katrina. But then again his figure was calculated by the statistician who estimated the crowd size for his inauguration.
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(On Hurricane Harvey): “The Coast Guard saved 16,000 people, many of them out in Texas, for whatever reason that is. People went out in their boats to watch the hurricane. That didn’t work out too well.” The boats Trump erroneously referred to were floating pieces of debris from flooded homes which their inhabitants clung onto until they were rescued. .
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(On Hurricane Florence): “This storm was one of the wettest we’ve ever seen from the standpoint of water.” This comment is one of the dumbest ever from the standpoint of stupidity.
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“Alabama was going to be hit or grazed, and then Hurricane Dorian took a different path (up along the East Coast). The Fake News knows this very well. That’s why they’re the Fake News!” The National Weather service issued the projections of Dorian’s path which never included Alabama, but the Commander-in-Chief Weatherman vetoed their projections with a sharpie. Expect the Fake Weather Service to be abolished since it is obviously a part of the Deep State acting as a puppet of China, Democrats, and scientists.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.