Hounding the Headlines: September 27, 2019

A Shady Dog Story

By Elona Baron as told to Laurie Baron

Elona Baron

SAN DIEGO−The Golden Deceiver tried to persuade the landlords of the white dog house where he currently lives to extend his lease, but a good old dog named JoJo who didn’t suffer from distemper hoped the landlords would offer him the opportunity to live there.

The Deceiver frothed at the mouth over the possibility of losing his residence and claimed JoJo and his son once pooped on a lawn in Ukraine and didn’t dispose of it in a plastic bag. Then he threatened the leader of a pack of Ukrainian sheep dogs that he would let a Russian wolf named Poochin overrun the pasture if he refused to corroborate the Poop-gate allegation.

When dogs dwelling in a house located not far from the white dog house learned about the Deceiver’s plot from a dog whistle blower, they voted to create an Anti-Defecation League to evict the Deceiver from his abode. The moral of this story is if there has been a legal breech, you must impeach!

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Elona resides with Bonnie and Laurie Baron. The latter is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.

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