Parasha Vayeira
SAN DIEGO — Wow! Is this a parasha? This is a 10! From three visitors, one of whom announces Sarah will soon have a son; to Abraham arguing with G-d about destroying Sodom and Gomorrah; Lot’s wife turning into a pillar of salt; incest which leads to the nations of Moab and Ammon; Abraham lies to Abimelech and Sarah becomes the king of Gerar’s wife; the birth of Isaac and the beginning of a step-brother rivalry that lasts until today with Ismael being sent away; and finally another test of Abraham, sacrificing Isaac.
Need anyone say more? Well, there is. After all, can we ever say enough about shalom bayit, peace in the home, and emet shel chesed, a kind and loving truth, particularly for the sake of bringing peace between people? Let’s look at the parasha:
| And Sarah laughed within herself, saying, “After I have become worn out, will I have smooth flesh? And also, my master is old.” | יבוַתִּצְחַ֥ק שָׂרָ֖ה בְּקִרְבָּ֣הּ לֵאמֹ֑ר אַֽחֲרֵ֤י בְלֹתִי֙ הָֽיְתָה־לִּ֣י עֶדְנָ֔ה וַֽאדֹנִ֖י זָקֵֽן: | |
| And the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Is it really true that I will give birth, although I am old?’ | יגוַיֹּ֥אמֶר יְהֹוָ֖ה אֶל־אַבְרָהָ֑ם לָ֣מָּה זֶּה֩ צָֽחֲקָ֨ה שָׂרָ֜ה לֵאמֹ֗ר הַאַ֥ף אֻמְנָ֛ם אֵלֵ֖ד וַֽאֲנִ֥י זָקַֽנְתִּי: |
Catch that? Sarah said one thing, perhaps hurtful to Abraham, and G-d brings softer words as he shares it with Abraham, an example of emet chel chesed and shalom bayit.
Indeed, we learn in Vayikra Rabba, “Bar Kappara said: Great is peace, for the Scriptures reported in the Torah a prevarication which was used in order to maintain peace between Abraham and Sarah. This is proved by what is written, And Sarah laughed within herself, saying:… and my master is old (Gen. XVIII, 12); but [when He repeated this] to Abraham, He said: [Sarah said]: And I am old (ib. 13).” Further, “Rabbi Ishmael taught: Great is peace, for even of the Great Name, written though it be in sanctity, did the Holy One, blessed be He, say that it may be blotted out in water, for the purpose of making peace between husband and wife.”
Emet shel chesed extends beyond shalom bayit. When we speak with one another with calm, compassion-filled, caring words, we help build a peaceful path to another hearing and growing from truth. We must be prudent, cautious, and most discriminating when choosing to bend the truth. G-d alone knows when to bring truth over peace, and when to bring peace over truth…for us however, it’s a decision that’s not often easy and always requires well-thought-out, well-judged, consideration.
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Dr. Mantell writes a d’var Torah each week for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family worship.