SAN DIEGO−The impeachment trial of the President Trump has taken a surprising turn. A leak from John Bolton’s forthcoming book about his experiences as National Security Advisor reveals Trump conditioned military aid and a meeting with the president of Ukraine on the latter announcing investigations into Joe and Hunter Biden and Ukraine’s interference in the 2016 elections. Here are some other incriminating passages it allegedly contains:
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“Whenever we discussed withholding assistance to Ukraine, Trump insisted that Putin be included on the conference call.”
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“After denouncing Hunter Biden for sitting on the advisory board of Burisma, Trump bragged about the patents China has granted Ivanka and the country’s real estate purchases in the United States brokered by Jared. For him, the Bidens were engaged in corrupt activities, but he was proud that Ivanka and Jared were savvy business people.”
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“I called Trump’s shakedown of Ukraine a ‘drug deal’ because whenever Trump referred to Giuliani in connection with it, he disguised the mayor’s identity by nicknaming him El Chapo.”
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“Trump confided in me that he had commissioned ‘El Chapo’ to obtain photographs of Hillary Clinton personally handing over her private server and that of the Democratic Party to a 400 pound Ukrainian agent and smuggling underage Ukrainian girls out of the country to work in her so-called ‘pizza parlor.’
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“Trump often reiterated his belief that he could kill someone on Fifth Avenue and not lose a vote. Similarly, when I resigned my position, he warned me that if I ever offered to testify about our conversations regarding Ukraine in an impeachment trial, he would retain enough votes from Republican senators to block me from being subpoenaed as a witness.”
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.