(Don’t Sweat the Virus Stuff)
SAN DIEGO — People are infected by disease, not disturbed by disease. People disturb themselves by their rigid and extreme views of disease.
If you are experiencing increased anxiety during this time of elevated risk of #COVID-19, aka coronavirus, here are some healthier ways of disturbing yourself less, living happier, more fulfilled, and not sweating the virus stuff.
Notice how everyone is an epidemiologist lately? Listen to the news and it’s enough to leave many under their covers, not getting out of bed for the next several weeks. But re-read my first sentence…it’s worth repeating.
People are infected by disease, not disturbed by disease. People disturb themselves by their rigid and extreme views of disease.
We create our unhealthy negative emotions by carrying a number of irrational beliefs:
Demands – musts, oughts, absolute should, have to’s
Awfulizing beliefs – “It’s terrible,” “It’s awful,” “It’s the end of the world”
Low frustration tolerance (LFT) – “I can’t stand it,” “It’s intolerable,” “I can’t bear it”
Personalization – “I’m no good if I get infected,” “Life’s no good”
Overgeneralizing – “It’s always going to be this way,” “It’ll never get better”
Ask yourself if you’d rather feel concerned or anxious? Sad or depressed? Annoyed or rageful?
Replace your demands with preferences. “It’d sure be better not to become infected with COVID-19, but who says I ‘must’ or ‘should’ not?”
Replace your awfulizing thoughts with less extreme beliefs. “It’s not horrible, awful or catastrophic, it’s really just not good.”
Replace your LFT with high frustration tolerance (HFT). “While I don’t like it and sure wish this disease wasn’t floating around, upending everyone’s life, I can certainly tolerate and bear it.”
Eliminate your negative personalizing by keeping yourself out of it. “While COVID-19 is not good, life surely still has lots of good in it, as do I.”
Shrink your overgeneralizing to more evidence-based thinking. “I have no idea if it’ll always be this way, and in fact, it’s very likely not going to last forever. But even if it most unlikely does, I can handle it though I may not like it.”
Like Alfred E. Neuman liked to say, “What, me worry?” Don’t sweat the virus, but be realistic about protecting yourself and your family, co-workers and friends.
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Michael Mantell, PhD, Is a cognitive behavioral coach based In San Diego. He also writes a D’var Torah column for San Diego Jewish World. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com