Nine lemonade drinks from the big Covid19 lemon

By Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO−Sheltering in place, I try to find the positive things that have come out of living through the coronavirus epidemic.

Saudi Arabia has declared a ceasefire in the war against the Houthi rebels in Yemen.  After all, the soldiers on both sides were not wearing Personal Protective Equipment and or staying six feet apart when engaged in hand to hand combat.  Dying from a bomb or bullet is one thing, but from coronavirus is worse.

Air quality has improved considerably in cities throughout the world since the covid19 lock downs have been imposed.  Perhaps it might dawn on someone whose name I don’t want to mention that there is a causal connection between auto and factory emissions and pollution.

My wife used to call me a couch potato for watching too much television.  Now she’s become my television spuddy.

My son has been driving for a restaurant delivery service for two years.  It is a contract labor job that doesn’t pay well and requires drivers to pay for their own gas and use their own cars.  With the advent of the stay at home order, he earns more respect as an essential worker and more money from increased tips.

My colonoscopy got postponed.

The families living next door to us have started asking my wife and me how we are doing and whether we need anything.  The good news is that they are concerned and friendly.  The bad news is that we must look much older than them.

Andrew Cuomo and Anthony Fouci have become the de facto co-presidents of the United States.

There are no rush hour traffic jams anymore.  Instead, the only traffic congestion now is at food pantries, covid19 drive thru centers, banks processing small business aid, and the unemployment office.

There hasn’t been a Democratic presidential primary debate for a month.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.