SAN DIEGO−The Liberate Protests to reopen the economy immediately are popping up everywhere. I’ve been reading the slogans on the signs held by the protesters and feel compelled to respond to them.
“Don’t cancel my golf season.” What’s more important: getting a hole in one or a hole in lung? But if you can’t resist going golfing, invite Donald Trump to join you.
“God gave us an immune system for a reason.” Clearly, your immunity hasn’t protected you from contagious stupidity.
“Give me liberty or give me death!” If you attend mass demonstrations and don’t wear a mask or observe social distancing, you might not have to choose between the two.
“If ballots don’t free us, bullets will.” This solution didn’t work too well for the Confederate States.
“Get out of our families.” If you’re committed to this demand, then stop trying to outlaw abortions and gay marriage.
“Be like Sweden.” “Sweden sees jump in coronavirus deaths with less restrictive guidelines under scrutiny.” Fox News headline from April 19, 2020.
“No more nanny state.” Most nannies have stopped working during the pandemic.
“Practice media distance.” What you don’t know can hurt you.
“I need a haircut.” I’d suggest getting a lobotomy too.
“I am not afraid of covid19.” Volunteer to work at a local ICU unit without Personal Protective Equipment.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken