SAN DIEGO−In the wake of the George Floyd protests, Donald Trump claimed he had “done more for the black community than any president since Abraham Lincoln.” Hypersensitive to the charge of being a bigot, he has carefully selected venues for upcoming rallies to symbolize his commitment to ethnic and racial justice. This is why he scheduled one for Tulsa on June 19th to commemorate the Juneteenth celebration of the end of slavery in the city where America’s worst race riot occurred. Here’s a possible campaign calendar for future campaign events targeted at ethnic and racial minorities.
Latinos for Donald Trump: This rally will be held along on the border near El Paso sometime in June to commemorate the Zoot Suit Riots. The location will provide easy access for Mexican Americans to visit friends and relatives in detention centers and to wave to those awaiting their asylum hearings on the other side of the wall. ICE agents will serve as ushers, and Steven Miller will introduce the President.
LGBQ Community for Donald Trump: This rally will be held in early July at the Westboro Baptist Church in July to mark the suppression of the Stonewall Riots. Pat Robertson will introduce the President.
Japanese Americans for Donald Trump: This rally will be held at Los Alamos on August 6 to commemorate the bombing of Hiroshima because it eliminated the possibility of Japanese American dual loyalties paving the way for their social acceptance. A screening of the Jerry Lewis film The Geisha Boy will follow the rally.
Muslims for MAGA: This rally will be held at the World Trade Center on September 11. The slogan will be: “You’re already here so you have nothing to fear!”
Native Americans: This rally will take place at Wounded Knee. Unfortunately, it couldn’t be scheduled to commemorate the massacre of the Lakota Indians there which happened in December. The slogan will be: “Take a gamble on Trump; he understands your problems because he owns casinos too.”
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.
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