Satire: Expect the worst

 

By Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO−To counter a boycott against Goya Food in protest of its CEO praising Donald Trump, Ivanka Trump posted a photo of her holding up a can of Goya Black Beans captioned in English and Spanish, “If it’s Goya, it’s got to be good.” Criticized for using her office to promote a product, she retorted that the photo was intended as a campaign ad to show Latino and African American voters that “black beans matter” to her father.

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Georgia Governor Brian Kemp of Georgia rescinded all city and country ordinances requiring the wearing of face masks.  This is part of his broader crusade to protect individual rights against intrusions by hypochondriac Democrats.  Next week he plans to outlaw airbags, no smoking ordinances, seatbelts, and vaccinations.

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The Trump Administration has ordered hospitals to bypass the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and send patient information concerning the coronavirus to a central database in Washington.  From now on these statistics will be compiled by the same accounting firm that does Donald Trump’s tax returns, and, like those, the statistics won’t ever be made public.

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Donald Trump denies that he has encouraged his subordinates to engage in a smear campaign against Anthony Fauci, but the recent leak of a story that Fauci was really born in Kenya and subsequently recruited by China to sabotage American efforts to contain the spread of Covid-19 sounds suspicious.

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Russia is reportedly spying on other countries’ research to develop a Coronavirus vaccine. Will Trump characteristically respond by saying that if the story is true, it is another reason why the US and Russia should be allies?

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.