Parasha Chayei Sarah
SAN DIEGO — Sarah lived to be 127 while Abraham lived to be 175. Chayei Sarah, can be translated as “The Lifetime of Sarah.” From the Talmud we learn, “the righteous are called living even after death.” Perhaps this is why the prominence of Sarah’s life is highlighted in the title, not her death.
We learn profound lessons from the lives of Sarah and Abraham about growing young and happy in older age. Yet we still seem to have the need to turn to, for example, a famed Harvard University study that found the following personality characteristics relating to happiness in aging:
- A future orientation and the ability to plan positively (“I figure if I can do this when I’m 85, I’ll be doing pretty well.”)
- The capacity for both gratitude and forgiveness
- The ability to see the world through the eyes of another
- The desire to do things with, and for, people
Perhaps the Harvard study would have been wise to reference this week’s parasha.
Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, zt”l, pointed to what one prominent researcher identified as being related to successful aging, a) taking care of the next generation and b) sharing wisdom that comes with age. Sarah and Abraham exemplify that “while the body may age, the spirit can stay young.” Rabbi Sacks taught that it is essential to “keep our ideals, give back to the community, share our wisdom with those who will come after us and inspire others to continue what we could not complete.”
The accomplishments of Sarah and Abraham demonstrate the centrality of this mindset, of maintaining a positive attitude, of never giving up hope, and living with the recognition that age is never an obstacle of continually achieving, of persistent and worthwhile contribution and of being in the flow, fully engaged in the world.
The parasha tells us, “And the life of Sarah was one hundred years and twenty years and seven years; [these were] the years of the life of Sarah.” The midrash tells us that innocence is the quality of age 7, strength is the quality of age 20 and wisdom is the quality of age 100. We see inside of this that when Sarah was one hundred years young, she had the strength of character of a twenty-year old, and when she was twenty, she had the innocence and beauty of a seven-year old child (Gen. Rabbah 58:1). As Rashi puts it, “The years of Sarah’s lifetime: All were equal for the good.”
The Torah tells us “…Abraham was old, advanced in days….” (Bereishit 24:1), referring to the effect that every day of his life left on him. In fact, the Zohar (1, 224a) teaches that “advanced in days” means that Abraham used every day of his life in the service of Hashem. His life was not defined by his body’s age, but by what his soul experienced.
Both Sarah and Abraham grew old staying young, with uncommon, exceptional and unusual vigor. After all, no other figure in the Torah is described with the word used to describe Abraham, zakein, well advanced in years, despite others living hundreds of years, including Adam, Noah and Methselah. Zakein is an acronym for “zeh shekaneh chachma” – a person who has acquired wisdom. One interpretation of this word, zakein, refers to a person who is wise and reasons with wisdom and good sense. This is true emotional intelligence, not simply referring to one’s chronological age. Eliezer taught us this week the value of knowing ourselves, of controlling our emotions, and of reading and responding to others for the good. This is genuine spiritual maturity.
Imagine if Sarah and Abraham gave up hope and failed to continually add meaning to their years. And imagine how much more positive our own lives will be as we bring emotional sensitivity to others, of course firmly anchored in our deep trust in Hashem. Let us all learn from Chayei Sarah and appreciate the benefits of aging young, of being active, intentional, and contributing with good choices, IY’H, to 120 years.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com