By Elona Baron as told to Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — It has been a long time since I’ve written one of my columns. Since my owners stay at home every day, I haven’t had many moments to gather my thoughts and dictate them to Laurie. He frequently drags me in front of his computer to show me off to his family and friends on ZOOM calls. The last time this happened it dawned on me that dogs should have a platform for communicating with each other during the pandemic too.
Thus, I have put all my recent efforts into inventing the canine equivalent to ZOOM which I have dubbed WOOF. WOOF cameras clip onto food bowls and transmit images and sound to the latest Apple device PawPads. To prevent users from barking at the same time, the WOOF screen features a muzzle button instead of a mute one. Dogs can click to on the barker setting to see and hear only the pup that is currently barking. If they click on the kennel settings, they can see everyone who is participating on the call. If they want to converse in smaller groups, the pack setting enables them to do that. They can even choose to have different backgrounds like a scene of fox hunting, a favorite fire hydrant, a dog park, or a beach.
I have tried to persuade the cats in my house to develop something similar for their species, but they hissed in no uncertain terms that they couldn’t be bothered because they’re too busy sleeping. In any case, Laurie advises me to pitch my idea on Shark Tank, but I’m a little worried that the judges might eat me.
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Elona resides with Bonnie and Laurie Baron. The latter is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. No animals were harmed in the writing of this column.