Parasha Vayigash
SAN DIEGO — This week’s parasha reveals a great deal about human nature. Indeed, “reveal” is the key word. As the parasha opens, Joseph continues to hide his true identity until his brother, Judah, touchingly entreats Joseph to enslave him instead of their innocent, framed brother, Benjamin. Judah poignantly tells Joseph about their elderly bereaved father, which adds to Joseph’s decision to tell his brothers that he is their brother,
And Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph. Is my father still alive?” but his brothers could not answer him because they were startled by his presence. Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come close to me,” and they drew closer. And he said, “I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt.” And G-d sent me before you to make for you a remnant in the land, and to preserve [it] for you for a great deliverance. And now, you did not send me here, but G-d…
If Joseph had spoken Yiddish, he might have said that it was bashert. It’s G-d’s will.
My, how people change in about 20 years. This Joseph is wise and experienced and has learned something about the Jewish response to difficult situations. Good can, and does, come from what seems “bad,” as we learned in last week’s Torah reading.
This is the same Joseph who “brought evil tales about them [his brothers],”as we learned a few weeks ago in Vayeishev. So, what changed and how can we learn from this to live better, genuinely repaired, and healed from animosity, separation and resentment? Let’s take a look.
Recall that Joseph, not the first in the Chumash to show tears, wept at least eight times in the Torah, more than any other person we learn about. Rashi teaches that Joseph’s willingness to reveal his authentic feelings, through crying so loudly that all of Egypt could hear him, demonstrates Joseph’s willingness to make himself vulnerable with true compassion. Recall that he asked his attendants to clear the room before speaking with his brothers, to protect his brother’s honor – not his own. Says Rashi, “Joseph saw that they were withdrawing backwards (away from him), and he said (to himself), ‘now my brothers are ashamed.’” Rashi makes clear that Joseph felt genuine empathy regarding his brothers’ pain and displayed it compassionately.
Joseph spoke from his heart. He assured his brothers that all was from Hashem’s plan, that he would not seek revenge…and openly cried. Joseph “reframed” the situation in his thinking, and that allowed him to find meaning, to approach his brothers differently.
One lesson this week, through Joseph’s vulnerability, is that where repair is possible, let’s be willing to be vulnerable, to speak from the heart, not blindly – Joseph used proper caution – but with openness and compassion, understanding what Rabbi Moshe Ibn Ezra, the distinguished philosopher, an able linguist, and a powerful poet, teaches “Dvarim hayotzim min halev nichnasim halev,” “Words that come from the heart, enter the heart.”
Another lesson is reinforcing the Jewish way to view adversity: “What can we learn from this?” Our job is to find meaning in every experience, as Joseph did through his faith and trust in Hashem, seeing positive meaning, good, in everything that had occurred in his life. Can we do so even during COVID19? Yes, even during COVID19. We can focus on the suffering, or the opportunities it has provided us, to find other ways to come closer to each other, to focus more on what is truly important and meaningful in our lives, to enrich ourselves with relationships and non-material values.
Rabbi Chaim Shmuelevitz, the former Rosh Yeshiva of the Mir Yeshiva teaches us that we would be wise to gain so much appreciation for life that even if we live with adversities, we could still live a life filled with joy, and truly be unable to say that life is bad. What have you learned over this past year and understand now that you did not when this year began? What does having learned these things make possible for you, that you may have thought was not possible before?
Perhaps for many this has been a time to grow in our ability to accept life and see it through the lens of “what can be learned,” rather than angrily demanding that life must be different.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun.
He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com