Satire: ‘I’ve Grown Accustomed to this Plague’

By Laurie Baron

(Tune: “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Your Face”)

Laurie Baron

SAN DIEGO — I’ve grown accustomed to this plague
That keeps me sheltered in my house.
I’ve grown accustomed to the masks which I wear into the stores.
My smiles, my frowns
Covered all around.
Are automatic to me now.
For breathing out and breathing in.

I am not scared of the variants since I’ve had my shots.
Only of catching COVID from unvaccinated tots.
I’ve grown accustomed to this plague,
Accustomed to its rules,
Accustomed to its spikes.

I’ve grown accustomed to Fauci’s face,
His briefings make my day begin.
I’ve gotten used to hear him saying avoid all indoor crowds.
Wash hands, stay home, vax up, don’t roam.
That’s second nature to me now
Like zooming out and zooming in.

I’m hoping that this virus will soon be in the past.
I’d like to see a movie and eat a restaurant repast.
Accustomed to shielding from droplets spread through air
Accustomed to this plague.

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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com. San Diego Jewish World points out to new readers that this column is satire, and nothing herein should be taken literally.