By Natasha Josefowitz, ACSW, Ph.D.
LA JOLLA, California — A recent issue of Psychology Today (April 2022) featured an article entitled: “Your Hidden Super Powers: Ten Ways You Are Stronger Than You Think.” As I read the piece, I was intrigued by how counter-intuitive these super powers seemed. The following eight stood out as particularly compelling: imperfection, generativity, routine, satisfaction, daydreaming, nostalgia, hope, and restlessness. Perhaps you, my readers, will also find them as intriguing as I did.
Imperfection: Conventional wisdom points to the expectation that putting your best foot forward is necessary to be appreciated, even liked. We are conscious of how we present ourselves and strive to be as good as we can at whatever we are doing. We place a high value on being perceived as successful and self-assured. However, research has shown that it is when we make mistakes and show our vulnerabilities that we are the most likable. So what we admire most about ourselves is not necessarily what is most appealing; drop the facade and be yourself. Let people discover the true, imperfect humanity in you, and they will like you better for it.
Generativity: Again, conventional wisdom stresses the importance of achieving our own personal goals. In the desire to feel better about ourselves, we indulge in self-improvement, expanding our minds, strengthening our bodies, improving our homes. However, research suggests that caring more about the next generation (hence the term “generativity,” a theory first proposed by Erik Erikson) and including our elders, increases our sense of well-being. In other words, investing and attending to the concerns of others offers a sense of fulfillment that caring for ourselves does not. Being there for others is a form of self-care and will increase your own good health.
Routine: Sticking to a routine may sound rigid and unimaginative, but developing a routine is actually beneficial. A steady routine combats the inaction that can come from overthinking little decisions. Routine takes care of itself. Primary routines include hygiene, sleep, eating, while secondary routines include work and social activities. Studies have shown that routines benefit mental health by reducing stress and anxiety. Routine gives us a sense of control via a regular set of actions we do consistently without pressure.
Satisfaction: We tend to measure our satisfaction by measuring success, achievements, acquisitions, and upward mobility. People who subscribe to these external measures of success are not satisfied because the goal is a forever moving target. People who avoid comparing themselves to others, and who prioritize relationships, find their self-worth as unique individuals.
Daydreaming: It is not a form of procrastination, nor is it a sign of an idle mind. Contrary to expectations, a wandering mind lends itself to creative problem-solving. Surprisingly, brain scans have found that our brains are more active when our minds wander than when we are focused on specific content. So carve out some time for yourselves to allow your mind to wander and see where it takes you.
Nostalgia: Letting your mind recall past events is not an escape from the present. It is a way for our memory to access the continuity of our personhood. Reminiscing offers some direct mental health benefits as a protective factor against depression and anxiety. People who wax nostalgic have a sense of self-continuity and a strong sense of their life’s meaning. L00king back helps to fit together all of our experiences into a coherent narrative.
Hope: Hope is a not a delusion, nor is it living in a fantasy world. Hope is a perception that gives us the power to create reality out of something that does not yet exist. When people have hope, their goals are more likely to become reality because they are more likely to take steps to make it happen. Hopeful people believe in themselves and their capabilities.
Restlessness: Restlessness relates to the brain’s desire for novelty. Restless people, whose urge is to engage in new experiences, have an advantage. Some who are able to find new hobbies, new ways of connecting to others, and aspire to new goals enjoy health benefits. Simply taking a different path on your way home counts as the fulfillment of the need for diversity. Brain scans have demonstrated a correlation between experiencing environmental diversity and feeling positive emotions. Even going to new places within one’s home territory also increases feelings of happiness. So find new things to do, new places to go to, and new people to meet. Look for novelty in your daily life and you will be rewarded with well-being.
I encourage everyone to embrace their own unique super powers and live their best life!
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© Natasha Josefowitz. This article appeared initially in the La Jolla Village News. You may comment to natasha.josefowitz@sdjewishworld.com