By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
When you walk into a synagogue, what do you feel? A deep-rooted home, a sense of connection and a feeling of being appreciated regardless of your age, religious ritual practices, sexual orientation, cultural background, family life? I seek to feel an authentic connection, a well-anchored link and emotional stir to my spiritual and religious heritage and ancestry, as well as a sense of harmony, reception, and attachment. A home in which, regardless of how one gets there, unrelated to what kosher symbol one adheres to or rejects, notwithstanding what one wears, joy and sorrow are amiably shared in a genuine, heartfelt way.
Isn’t that what, after 40 years in the wilderness, the Israelites were in search of as well? As we conclude the Book of Numbers this week with Matot and Massei, with Tisha B’Av soon upon us and the High Holy Days only weeks ahead, our promised land is not so distant. Our beit keneset, our place of gathering, is our home, our place in which we share our joys and sorrows with others.
But who are we closing our doors to? Who are we opening our hearts to in our synagogues? Who are we intentionally helping feel welcome? While no village is perfect, this week’s Torah readings wake us up to the fact that we are all standing on the shore of the River Jordan, as a coat of many colors. This week’s Torah reading urges every synagogue to intentionally look deeply within itself to develop answers as to how it can become a better “promised land” for all…regardless.
Do we make room for the well-meaning yet “different,” tribes of Reuben and Gad in our synagogues today? Recall that Reuben and Gad thought differently from Moses, asking for permission to settle on the east bank of the Jordan instead of going along with the rest of the Israelites entering Israel. And what was Moses’ response? “Moses said to the descendants of Gad and Reuben, ‘Shall your brethren go to war while you stay here?’”And later Moses calls them a breed of sinners, “And behold, you have now risen in place of your fathers as a society of sinful people, to add to the wrathful anger of the Lord against Israel.” But these tribes, as Nachmanides and Abravenel teach, did not want to separate themselves as others pointed fingers and claimed.
Indeed, they promised to serve as shock-troops in the front of the attack and shared in the risks and dangers that all others in the battle shared. They were accepted into the fabric of the community, and permitted to settle on the east bank, outside of Israel. Moses found a way to be inclusive, convivial, amenable and receptive. Are we?
The Slonimer Rebbe, Rabbi Sholom Noach Berezovsky, זצוקללה״ה, (zekher tzadik v’kadosh livrakha,l’chayei ha’olam ha-ba ) with whom I had the privilege and honor of meeting and discussing mussar many years ago in his yeshiva in Israel, in teaching about the “cities of refuge,” describes these as places where those who’ve committed manslaughter can find safety and a place to reflect.
Today, our synagogues, temples and shuls are places where we can take refuge from a stress-filled world in our prayer, our faith, our holiness, our friends, our community, and our connection with Hashem. And when we wish each other “Shabbat Shalom,” and “Shavua Tov” we know we are given an opportunity to start again on our journey, on our path to becoming the best we can be.
Are the doors of our synagogues honestly and completely wide open, inclusively, and warmly, genuinely accepting all on equal footing, even modern day “Reubens and Gads?” After all, who is perfect? Are we missing parts of our community today, indeed are we turning away members of our community, explicitly or implicitly, from our synagogues? Are our leaders learning from Matot – Massei and focused on how to connect the disconnected, to become more embracing, more openhearted, and more unifying? We can become more like Moses and ultimately have unconditional acceptance for others, or more like the those who hold negative judgment in their hearts. The choice is ours. The future of our synagogues is in our hands and in our hearts. The lyrics of Yehuda’s “Kol Yisroel Chaverim” speak to the lesson in this week’s parasha:
“And when the winds of hatred blow
Please ask yourselves my friend
Have you done all that
You could have done today
V’ahavta L’reacha Kamocha
Kol Yisroel Chaverim…we are all one family, Kol Yisroel Chaverim.”
This sense of unity amongst us can be improved. That seems to be another message in this week’s readings. Since being driven out of the Garden of Eden we’ve made many stops along the way to find our home. The Baal Shem Tov, who founded Chasidism), teaches that the 42 stops we read about this week, are a metaphor for the stops, the essential stops, each of us take throughout our lives. Some of our stops may seem more like stumbling blocks than steps forward, but this teaches us that even stumbling blocks may be required by Hashem for us to move forward and grow spiritually, which we all eventually do with our eyes and hearts wide open. Don’t believe everything you think, the lesson seems to be. The Baal Shem Tov is pointing out that to get to the other side of the Midbar, the wilderness, Hashem knows we may need a stop that feels like painful sandpaper…meant to smooth us out and help us grow.
I was struck by the rulings of the Rambam and the Shulchan Aruch about this comprehensive list of stops along the way in the desert. The Shulchan Aruch rules that number of lines in a Torah scroll should be 42, equal to the number these stops. In contrast, the Rambam rules that each parchment should be no less than 48 lines, since he views that the Torah should include the 42 stops but also the six times they retreated along the way and reexamined the errors they made at those revisited stops. Perhaps that’s a valued lesson on life…we move forward but we need to step back and reevaluate our blunders. And isn’t this a time to begin thinking about our vows and oaths to live better?
We are taught that the number 42 also represents one of the names of Hashem, which reveals itself in each of us since we are made in the image of Hashem. These 42 stops have profound multilayered meaning. It begins with the Exodus from Mitzraim and climaxes with Yardain Yereacho. The first suggests leaving all boundaries, Mitzarim, moving daily beyond previous spiritual limitations. The last stop suggests the revealing of Moshiach. Yarden from Tehilim 72:8 where we read, “He will rule (Yared) from sea to sea,” and Yereacho because he will judge by his sense of smell (Reach Vadiin). Bringing Moshiach will bring a genuine leader and judge to improve our world. It is up to us to fulfill the words of the Tanya who teaches that our lives begin with an oath to “Be a Tzadik and not a Rasha,” and with this oath to complete the 42 stops along the way to bring Moshiach.
The clock and calendar are ticking away, reminding us that soon after Tisha B’Av, we begin readying ourselves for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Many wait. Wise ones begin now. The Ishbitzer Rebbe, Moshe Yosef Leiner of Izbica, author of Mei Hashiloach, has a weighty commentary on the parashot. He reflects on the word Midian, מדין, and relates it to dimion, דמיון, imagination, and tells us that we would be wise to seek out those parts of our own thoughts, our own imagination, and eliminate those elements that keep us from growing closer to Hashem. The stories we tell ourselves, our imagination, keep us unattached, and we can learn to create and live with healthier stories.
Just as David HaMelech teaches us in Tehillim (131), we can reach a level of bitachon in which we learn in our thoughts to fully trust Hashem’s guidance in our lives. Recall that David HaMelech just “opened his mouth” and accepted anything Hashem gave to him, believing He knew far better what was best for him.
Soon we’ll be standing together in our synagogues during the High Holy Days as we delve into ourselves, our thoughts, our level of bitachon, our choices, our promises, the way we treat others. How can we do better? How can we help our synagogues do better? And why wait to examine our dimion, דמיון, our imagination?
Let’s do so now.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com