By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — We increasingly are entering perpetual holiday mode from Halloween through New Year’s Day. Now it appears the holidays are becoming homogenized. As evidence of this phenomenon, look at the photo below of a decoration atop the chimney of a house in my neighborhood. It shows a skeletal Santa next to the ghost of a reindeer poised to engage in a home invasion.
When I first saw these figures, I immediately wondered, “What diet has Santa been on? Is Rudolf a member of the KKK? Will children receive only candy as presents this Christmas? Where is Santa’s sleigh? Has it been replaced by a pumpkin coach pulled by witches flying on brooms? Was Charles Dickens clairvoyant in populating A Christmas Carol with ghosts?
Will Hanukah be coopted too? What do pumpkin latkes taste like? Was the miracle of the oil burning for eight days merely a magic trick by Judah the wizard? Might this trend eventually affect Passover? After all, it is already haunted by blood, boils, frogs, hail, lice, flies, diseased cows, locusts, darkness, and the killing of firstborn boys?
In deference to Halloween, another three plagues will be added so they can add up to 13 conveniently dovetailing with the number of God’s attributes and the lyrics of Echad mi yodea? The scariest outcome of this development could be having to eat matzo meal fruit cake during Pesach.
And if you think eating matzo products for eight days is constipating, then consider the havoc that will be wreaked on your digestive system when all these holidays are extended to 12 days in deference to Christmas.
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Baron is professor emeritus of history at San Diego State University. He may be contacted via lawrence.baron@sdjewishworld.com.