By Laurie Baron
SAN DIEGO — On January 3 Kevin McCarthy hopes to become the next Speaker of the House. He needs 218 votes to get elected Speaker and Republicans hold 222 seats. The problem is that 5 radical right-wing Republicans have announced they are opposed to him. McCarthy is making all sorts of deals with Republican representatives to assure he wins. My mole within the Republican caucus is George Santos. He has revealed what sorts of things McCarthy is promising to guarantee his Speakership. I believe him since his motto is: “Like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie, (unless it is politically convenient).”
Santos himself will be appointed the chair of the Joint Committee on Nuclear Energy because McCarthy was impressed by his resume that indicates he holds a doctorate in Nuclear Physics from MIT.
Marjorie Taylor Greene has secured the leadership of the Committee on Science, Space, and Technology and plans an investigation on how George Soros managed to gain control over NASA and launch space lasers that hover over California and reign down bolts of fires on its forests.
Matt Gaetz is still withholding his vote for McCarthy but has intimated that he would be willing to support him if McCarthy makes the passage of a bill abolishing statutory rape laws and the Mann Act a priority.
Lauren Boebert is seeking to abolish the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives and mandating the purchase of weapons by everyone who voted Republican in the last election or participated in the 1/6 tourist visit to the Capitol.
Jim Jordan will head a special committee investigating the increase in crime in the nation with special attention to the theft of the presidential election of 2020.
Of course, McCarthy is not worried that any of the demands he has given into will affect the business of the House since it will be too busy impeaching Biden, Garland, and Majorkas and defunding the FBI.
*
Baron is a Professor Emeritus of San Diego State University.