By Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D.
SAN DIEGO — Let’s begin at the beginning of this week’s parasha, which we read on the Shabbos before Tisha B’Av every year, and look at the first words of the Torah reading, “These are the words which Moshe spoke unto all of Israel across the Jordan…” Yes, Moshe spoke his words to ALL Jews, not just those alive then, but to all, including us today. When we read this parasha, Moshe is speaking directly to me and to you. This makes Devarim a particularly human parasha, one in which Moshe establishes a quite personal relationship with each of us.
This Book of Deuteronomy, also called the Mishne Torah, contains Moses’ last address, and the various chapters of this book include quite a few words of rebuke. And yet he speaks his words of rebuke and critique with unconditional positive regard for all. He demonstrates mussar in showing us how to preserve the dignity of human beings, kavod ha beriyot, by building up the sinner, as it says in Proverbs (9:8), “Do not rebuke the scoffer, for he will hate you; Reprove a wise man and he will love you.” Rashi also teaches us that Moshe only hinted at the serious sins of that generation to avoid shaming and embarrassing others. This suggests that the person doing the rebuke would be wise to not treat the person he is rebuking as a scoffer, because ultimately, he will not succeed. Rather, relate and interact with the person as if they were wise, and then the rebuke is more likely to work.
In an essay with several strategies on how to provide proper rebuke, Rabbi Baruch Simonquotes Rabbi Isaiah Horowitz, known as the Shelah HaKadosh, who adds an important insight. Amidst the rebuke, Moshe speaks of the “wise, discerning, and known” leaders amongst Bnei Yisrael (Devarim 1:13). Rabbi Horowitz argues that while providing the rebuke, Moshe is careful to build up the esteem and respect of the people in their own eyes, so he highlights these accolades.
The Midrash Hagadol, referring to Moses’ rebukes, states: “The Holy One, Blessed Be He said to Israel: Moses’ rebuke is as dear to me as the Ten Commandments.” Rebuke is a vital tool for progress. On this, we see an interesting conversation between the Israelites and Moshe. “It is because the Lord hates us that He brought us out of the land of Egypt to hand us over to the Amorites.” Their interpretation is incorrect, and they would be wise to follow the advice of not believing everything they think, but it’s understandable that the Israelites would express this worry. They’re fearful, and so they do what many do when they feel unease and distress, they blame instead of stepping back and reflecting rationally on the situation.
In fact, Rashi interprets this line as “If Hashem really loved us, He would have given us the land of Egypt and sent the Egyptians into the wilderness.” Their fear blinds them to the possibility that, as difficult as the journey has been, it is because Hashem loves them that they left Egypt. In other words, “because I love you, I’ve given you the chance to grow, change, and build a whole new nation.” They needed the validation of knowing that He loved them. Sometimes, like Tevye and Golde, though it doesn’t change a thing, that’s still all we need as well.
Moshe’s lesson of mussar, it appears, is that he went far to accept people unconditionally, with all their human foibles and imperfections, and still showed respect for them, fallible as they — and we all — are. Do you see the clear mussar lesson in this? Want to lead others, to impact others for the good? Want to help affect positive change in others? Follow the path of Moshe and provide unconditional positive acceptance of your fellow human being. No one is, after all, better than another. Moshe knew that and wanted us to know that too. How do you let others know that, or is your nose pointed too high in the air to allow you do bring others closer?
Yes, Devarim is indeed a superb source of mussar. Perhaps one of the best. A bit of gematria may also support this notion. The word, devarim, meaning “words,” when written with different vowels, may mean “bees.” This is of interest since the words of the Torah are analogous to bees, a source of sweet honey. While Torah words may at times be a bit prickly like bees, the gematria of mussar is 306, the gematria of honey is also 306, and the gematria of Av HaRachamon is also 306. What’s the lesson here? Mussar may irritate us, sting us, but like words of honey, they can bring us closer to our Av HaRachamon. Perhaps this is one reason sefer Devarim is such a superb mussar source.
It appears we can learn mussar from many contemporary books, from stories that engage us to hearing Moshe rebuke us straightforwardly as he did. In today’s quick-paced world, it seems people want to hear inspiring stories more than facts. Every pop magazine today knows this well. While so many of us may prefer hearing these stirring parables aimed at elevating our lives, Moshe believed the Israelites, living on a higher level in Devarim than those living in earlier books in the Torah, were ready to hear a direct, properly given, message on how to live life, so says Rabbi Levi Yitzchak of Barditchov, zt”l, the Kedushas Levi.
One master story teller of our principles and ideals was the Dubno Maggid, Rabbi Yaakov Krantz, zt”l. The story goes that he was asked about his common use of folktales, and he of course chose an allegory to explain his reliance on moral tales. It seemed that the son of a king was quite ill, according to the Dubno Maggid’s parable, and the youngster refused to take his necessary medication. So, the local town joker was called upon to step in and try to help the youngster take his medicine. Instead of telling the boy why it was important, what he must do, ordering him, he simply began telling the lad a bunch of jokes! When the young prince was laughing so hard that his mouth was wide open, the jester tossed the medicine in, and the child began the process of healing. The Dubno Maggid compares this to how he brings difficult, stinging messages to people through his meshalim (parables). He uses his allegories and tales to engage people, and when their hearts are receptive, and their minds are open, he tosses in his mussar message. As it says in the Likuttei Amarim, “Words which come from the heart enter into the heart.”
Senseless, baseless, hatred led to the destruction of the Second Temple. Have we truly learned? Two thousand plus years of hating other’s religion, lifestyle, faith, make it clear we have a way to go. We still have a great deal to learn. “Derech Eretz Kadma L’Torah” (be a mentsch above all) is a true statement. Perhaps if we, like Moshe, were able to look beyond the outside to that which lies within, to feel acceptance for ALL, to see the preciousness of ALL our fellow Jews, to deem ALL Jewish life sacred, we might look forward to a time of celebration, not a day of sitting on the floor weeping in mourning for the destruction of the Temple.
Let’s ALL turn towards our loved ones, members of our community who may look and observe differently than we, let’s welcome and bring nehemta to those struggling with pain and stress, and bring refuah sheleimah to all. Can we not work together, in a united Kehilla, to raise the levels of kedusha and overcome the kochos hatumah and allow Moshiach to reveal himself? Learning Chovos Halevavos and Mesilas Yeshorim will go a long way to helping you remind yourself that your judgmental mindset is preventing Moshiach from appearing.
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Michael R. Mantell, Ph.D., prepares a weekly D’var Torah for Young Israel of San Diego, where he and his family are members. They are also active members of Congregation Adat Yeshurun. He may be contacted via michael.mantell@sdjewishworld.com